I've been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 years... i'm 24, he's 25. we've lived together for 5 years.
Just recently he's been talking to me like i mean absolutely nothing to him. For example, i control our finances and when he's going out with the lads (which i have no problem with) i'll remind him not to go over the top and watch what he spends. Last weekend i said this to him and the tone of his voice suddenly changed and he reacted so aggressively it shocked me. He's actually started shouting at me and i really can't take it. I don't cry easily, but growing up with a mum and dad who went from not talking to each other for weeks at a time (living in the same house) to arguing, it's all too familiar and i'm probably hypersensitive about it.
I love him to bits, i really do, but we've not spoken to each other since yesterday even tho we live together. I don't want to be the first one to talk... he's the one that shouted at me for no reason.... Not sure where my relationship's going - advice?
i think you need to sit down and address the issue. this is not something fresh or new where you don't really know each other. this is your life and you really need to know. swallow ur pride and go to him, u need to look after urself and give a directon to ur life so dont let pride stop you.
You know, people change. Perhaps something is going on with him that you have't noticed, that happens easily when you're so close to someone and think you know them so well. That's all i can say, go and talk to him but dont argue and be as nice as you can. I know you're hurt but if you're aggressive, angry, frustrated etc he will only mirror it.
Take care and best of luckNot sure where my relationship's going - advice?
Well just ask him what his problem is and why he had a go at you for no reason.
put your foot down and say that he had no right speaking to you like he did.
and if he gets agressive again just tell him that you love him but you dont like whats happening to your relationship so it has to change or its over, get your point across otherwise it will just carry on..
he is probly thinking the same thing as you, he doesnt want to speak first so it seems uve won.
you know sometimes silence is the only way, but dont let your self get lost in your own pride, try to talk and find out what is really wrong, what ever you do do not start saying he is seeing someone else, dont get to defensive as from personal experience that never gets you anywhere
You sound realy nice .. You shouldnt be with him if you're not happy! He sounds inconsiderate ! ... add me on facebook , im going through the same **** at the moment with my girlfriend...
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/profi鈥?/a>
Friday, January 8, 2010
100 Most common asked relationship questions? (you advice needed)?
Im writing a book on relationships where I plan to answer the 100 most commonly asked questions. Instead of creating my own questions, I would rather find out from everyone what questions you have. Please ask any relationship questions that you may have. Please don't hesitate and ask freely... (PS: keep in mind that your question may be selected to be published) Also, when leaving your answers, IF possible, please leave a source I could state in my book (ex: Anthony, FL) = (First Name, State) please consider leavinat leastst your state (BUT NOT REQUIREDat leastst then I could list the source as (ex: Anonymous, New York) If you have any further questions or suggestions PLEASE feel free to do so. Thanx Guys100 Most common asked relationship questions? (you advice needed)?
Why do men feel like it is the woman's job to do the domestic chores?
Why do people cheat?
Why is it that children effect a marriage so much?
~Charity, Indiana100 Most common asked relationship questions? (you advice needed)?
Yes but it's not like a billion dollar company is even going to notice that he took information from this website.
Anyways...
One of my questions would be how do you know if your date wants you to kiss them or not?! (I already know the answer but I think it's a pretty common question lol)
Kids,married,where do you live,job,whats your family like, school,how many partners, credit,cars,friends, hobbies, if you like sports.
do you like sex
do you snore
do you like oral sex
do you like public affection
how late can you stay out
what do your parents do
male....minnesota
You know that anything published on here is owned by Yahoo right. You did read the agreement before you clicked I agree right.
how do you deal with the MIL from Hell?
Anon, W.V.
Why do men feel like it is the woman's job to do the domestic chores?
Why do people cheat?
Why is it that children effect a marriage so much?
~Charity, Indiana100 Most common asked relationship questions? (you advice needed)?
Yes but it's not like a billion dollar company is even going to notice that he took information from this website.
Anyways...
One of my questions would be how do you know if your date wants you to kiss them or not?! (I already know the answer but I think it's a pretty common question lol)
Kids,married,where do you live,job,whats your family like, school,how many partners, credit,cars,friends, hobbies, if you like sports.
do you like sex
do you snore
do you like oral sex
do you like public affection
how late can you stay out
what do your parents do
male....minnesota
You know that anything published on here is owned by Yahoo right. You did read the agreement before you clicked I agree right.
how do you deal with the MIL from Hell?
Anon, W.V.
I need parent advice on a relationship
my moms not here with me now and i wanted to know if 14 was a good age to start having sex and how do u kiss a boy ur tottaly in love withI need parent advice on a relationship
At fourteen years old, you are far too young to be thinking about sex. If you have to ask about how to go about kissing someone, you obviously are nowhere close to that step, regardless of your age.
There is nothing wrong with taking a relationship slowly. Respect your body and yourself enough to wait until you are old enough, mature enough, and emotionally ready to handle a physical relationship (and at 14, you are not ready for any of those things), and demand that any boy who goes out with you respects you and your wishes. If he doesn't, he isn't worth giving your virginity to.I need parent advice on a relationship
Don't do it. It is not just because of your age. Sex is a very, very special thing. The first time is extremely special. Once you give that away, you will never get it back. Don't throw it away on some boy you may never see again after high school. Besides there are consequences for having sex outside of marriage. Our society tries to make us think that there aren't, but it isn't true. Once you release the emotions and feelings that come with sex, you will never again be able to contain them. Wait until you are married to that one forever friend and soul-mate. Believe me, you will never regret it.
14 is way way too youing to be having sex! You should wait until you are at LEAST 16, 17. There is a huge maturity level you are missing when you are 14, and it is not a good idea to become sexually adventerous at that age. However Id say that you are okay to kiss. But that is it. I mean, you are at the age where you like boys, and you are curous. So by all means, kiss, hold hands, have group dates, but do not do anything past that line. Your not ready for that.
No, 14 is not a good age. You WILL regret it. My best advice is to wait until you are married, but with teens these days its not always the advice they want to hear. If you really do, make sure you use protection, and wait until your just a bit older. And kissing, there really is no instructions, just let it come naturally. Try going out to the movies with the guy, and give him a hug goodnight, and when u start to pull away, just kiss him.
At your age you are experience infatuation. You kiss a boy if you and he are both wanting to do it, it comes to you naturally.
But the most important thing is to remember to use condoms when having sex. You have them with you and if he don't want to use it, refuse, totally refuse.
Not only to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, but unwanted diseases.
My daughter came to me at age 14 and said, Derrik's cousin gave him a condom so we tried it out. Thank God they used one. She is now 20 and married to someone else after having about 10 other boyfriends.
14 is too young to start having sex because you cannot deal properly with the emotions that come along with having sex. wait a few more years...you will definitely be happy you did. the guy you are totally in love with will probably change after you give it up, and the consequences of having sex at a young age are too many for you to handle at this point in your life...trust me, you will regret it if you have sex now!!
As a young Mother that I am, No, Its not a good age, I lost my virginity at 15, And to this day I regret it. I got pregnant at 15, I love my daughter to death but going to school pregnant is no fun, People talk about you and so do teachers. And once you have sex, He may use a condom that time, But after that, He'll talk you into not using one, He'll tell you you'll be together forever, Or he'll put out when he ejaculates, He'll feed you this fairytale, Please dont feed into it. Your far too young, Worry about school and hanging out with friends, A baby will grow you up REAL fast! Be careful!
no i don't think 14 is a good age for sex. there are so many things that can go wrong. the condom could break, you could forget to take the pill, or the pill might not work. you'll have to worry about a pregnancy. most likely your boyfriend won't stick around to help you raise the kid.
plus there are so many std's out there. they can cause infertility (you won't be able to have a child), cancer, lots of pain and even death.
sex is a special thing and you want your first time to be right.
i'm waiting till i'm married to have sex, but it's up to you.
i hope you make a good choice.
LMFAO!
okay...i know alot of people are having sex at 14...and thats there problem.
yes...sex...is good...lol
and..im a guy...but if i were your mom..i would call you a RETARD!
14 is way too young.
more than half the people who are saying they arent a virgin that are younger than 15 or so...are lying! they just say that because they think there cool.
wait till your atleast 16, because if you have sex now, you'll regret it...AND...your probably gunna end up breaking up with him later, which will make it harder. because 14 is just way too young.
and your going to have to take a chance of..getting pregnent...std's..ect.
If you cannot support a child then you are not ready.
At 14 you still require someone to support you and no birth control is 100 percent. I am not your mother, so I don't have the emotional stake she would have. Take my answer and put a billion tears to it, a billion wishes of your future and happiness..and maybe then you would know what your mother would want.
If I had a daughter even thinking about sex at age 14, i would be devastated and would wonder how badly I had been bringing her up. If you don't know how to kiss a boy then you are FAR too young to be even thinking about sex.
Kissing--Fine
Sex--Not fine at 14. You need to wait until you are ready, and responsible enough to handle the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.
Always use protection and seek a physicians assistance in contraceptive management.
i would wait, trust me on this! once you lose your virginity, you wish in the end that you would have waited. plus when you and your boyfriend break up, he will tell his friends and itll get around school, i wouldnt do it if i were you
your growing and to you fourteen is the age you feel like you need to start so what i would say is do it if you really think your in love. just be careful.
14 isnot a good age to have sex.
no no no.
when youre in love iwth them you can wait.
I would say that 14 is too young to be having sex already. Kissing is one thing but sex is a whole different thing. wait and be careful
Your too young is what she would probably say,
and if you dont know how to kiss right....you SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX!!!
i started at 14 and i should have waited
if you haven't even kissed him, then you're definitely not ready for sex. plus, 14 is way too young to be having sex.
if i was your mother id slap you in the face your waaaaayyyy to young kiss him all you want just dont do the dirty deed
14 is too young to have sex, so I'd advise against it.
no wait till your 15 or 16 and open mouth with a little tounge
um no 14 is WAY TO YOUNG to have sex..u don't want to end up pregnant..do you? i would definatly wait until ur married..im only 16 and im still a virgin .. follow my exampleoily skin
At fourteen years old, you are far too young to be thinking about sex. If you have to ask about how to go about kissing someone, you obviously are nowhere close to that step, regardless of your age.
There is nothing wrong with taking a relationship slowly. Respect your body and yourself enough to wait until you are old enough, mature enough, and emotionally ready to handle a physical relationship (and at 14, you are not ready for any of those things), and demand that any boy who goes out with you respects you and your wishes. If he doesn't, he isn't worth giving your virginity to.I need parent advice on a relationship
Don't do it. It is not just because of your age. Sex is a very, very special thing. The first time is extremely special. Once you give that away, you will never get it back. Don't throw it away on some boy you may never see again after high school. Besides there are consequences for having sex outside of marriage. Our society tries to make us think that there aren't, but it isn't true. Once you release the emotions and feelings that come with sex, you will never again be able to contain them. Wait until you are married to that one forever friend and soul-mate. Believe me, you will never regret it.
14 is way way too youing to be having sex! You should wait until you are at LEAST 16, 17. There is a huge maturity level you are missing when you are 14, and it is not a good idea to become sexually adventerous at that age. However Id say that you are okay to kiss. But that is it. I mean, you are at the age where you like boys, and you are curous. So by all means, kiss, hold hands, have group dates, but do not do anything past that line. Your not ready for that.
No, 14 is not a good age. You WILL regret it. My best advice is to wait until you are married, but with teens these days its not always the advice they want to hear. If you really do, make sure you use protection, and wait until your just a bit older. And kissing, there really is no instructions, just let it come naturally. Try going out to the movies with the guy, and give him a hug goodnight, and when u start to pull away, just kiss him.
At your age you are experience infatuation. You kiss a boy if you and he are both wanting to do it, it comes to you naturally.
But the most important thing is to remember to use condoms when having sex. You have them with you and if he don't want to use it, refuse, totally refuse.
Not only to prevent an unwanted pregnancy, but unwanted diseases.
My daughter came to me at age 14 and said, Derrik's cousin gave him a condom so we tried it out. Thank God they used one. She is now 20 and married to someone else after having about 10 other boyfriends.
14 is too young to start having sex because you cannot deal properly with the emotions that come along with having sex. wait a few more years...you will definitely be happy you did. the guy you are totally in love with will probably change after you give it up, and the consequences of having sex at a young age are too many for you to handle at this point in your life...trust me, you will regret it if you have sex now!!
As a young Mother that I am, No, Its not a good age, I lost my virginity at 15, And to this day I regret it. I got pregnant at 15, I love my daughter to death but going to school pregnant is no fun, People talk about you and so do teachers. And once you have sex, He may use a condom that time, But after that, He'll talk you into not using one, He'll tell you you'll be together forever, Or he'll put out when he ejaculates, He'll feed you this fairytale, Please dont feed into it. Your far too young, Worry about school and hanging out with friends, A baby will grow you up REAL fast! Be careful!
no i don't think 14 is a good age for sex. there are so many things that can go wrong. the condom could break, you could forget to take the pill, or the pill might not work. you'll have to worry about a pregnancy. most likely your boyfriend won't stick around to help you raise the kid.
plus there are so many std's out there. they can cause infertility (you won't be able to have a child), cancer, lots of pain and even death.
sex is a special thing and you want your first time to be right.
i'm waiting till i'm married to have sex, but it's up to you.
i hope you make a good choice.
LMFAO!
okay...i know alot of people are having sex at 14...and thats there problem.
yes...sex...is good...lol
and..im a guy...but if i were your mom..i would call you a RETARD!
14 is way too young.
more than half the people who are saying they arent a virgin that are younger than 15 or so...are lying! they just say that because they think there cool.
wait till your atleast 16, because if you have sex now, you'll regret it...AND...your probably gunna end up breaking up with him later, which will make it harder. because 14 is just way too young.
and your going to have to take a chance of..getting pregnent...std's..ect.
If you cannot support a child then you are not ready.
At 14 you still require someone to support you and no birth control is 100 percent. I am not your mother, so I don't have the emotional stake she would have. Take my answer and put a billion tears to it, a billion wishes of your future and happiness..and maybe then you would know what your mother would want.
If I had a daughter even thinking about sex at age 14, i would be devastated and would wonder how badly I had been bringing her up. If you don't know how to kiss a boy then you are FAR too young to be even thinking about sex.
Kissing--Fine
Sex--Not fine at 14. You need to wait until you are ready, and responsible enough to handle the possibility of an unplanned pregnancy.
Always use protection and seek a physicians assistance in contraceptive management.
i would wait, trust me on this! once you lose your virginity, you wish in the end that you would have waited. plus when you and your boyfriend break up, he will tell his friends and itll get around school, i wouldnt do it if i were you
your growing and to you fourteen is the age you feel like you need to start so what i would say is do it if you really think your in love. just be careful.
14 isnot a good age to have sex.
no no no.
when youre in love iwth them you can wait.
I would say that 14 is too young to be having sex already. Kissing is one thing but sex is a whole different thing. wait and be careful
Your too young is what she would probably say,
and if you dont know how to kiss right....you SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX!!!
i started at 14 and i should have waited
if you haven't even kissed him, then you're definitely not ready for sex. plus, 14 is way too young to be having sex.
if i was your mother id slap you in the face your waaaaayyyy to young kiss him all you want just dont do the dirty deed
14 is too young to have sex, so I'd advise against it.
no wait till your 15 or 16 and open mouth with a little tounge
um no 14 is WAY TO YOUNG to have sex..u don't want to end up pregnant..do you? i would definatly wait until ur married..im only 16 and im still a virgin .. follow my example
In an emotionally abusive relationship... need some advice?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He can be a real jerk at times, but he is NEVER physical, and I am not afraid whatsoever of him ever becoming physical. It is just the things he says. He is 27 and I am 22, so there is an age gap there, and we are both at different stages in life... he handles things different than I would, and I feel sometimes if I don't say it the way he wants me to, or do it the way he wants me to, I am in for all these nasty things he says. He has called me a bit*h, cun*, talked down about my family, called me a fat ***, told me I am ugly and that I will never do better than him... I have never said things like that to him. Sure, I have called him an asshole after he says these things to me, and if he calls me a *****, I call him a ***** and he really hates that! But why can he say it to me and not expect me to get mad like he does? He has pressured me for anal sex and then has gottn mad to the point that I am in tears because I don't want to give it to him. Like it is always my fault. It is not like this constantly though. When he is nice, he can be really nice, and that is what makes me think to myself, ';Why am I wanting to leave him if he is this nice?'; By the way, we moved 2 states away in 2007 for his job, and it seems like with the added stresses of me not being with my family, his actions are just coming more and more to light. He makes me feel like I should no be blaming him, after all he is paying most of the bills... My money goes into his account, not joint... he does not trust me... he thinks I will take his money? I have never done a thing like that to him, or anyone else. There have been times that he loses something, and accuses me of taking it.... and when he finds it he does appologise, but claimes that if he hadn't found it, that would have been bad for me... he leaves the house for hours when things doesn't go his way, or if I defend myself agianst things he says. He drinks every night almost, adn goes to the bars atleast 1 time a week without me to add. And I have been asking to go to the movies for 2 months, and he claims it is too expensvie... When I ask him to give up that 1 day at the bar and spend it with me he goes into this speech of how he pays most of the bills, so I don't have a say really on what we spend money on. You are all probably reading this asking yourself, ';Why are you still there?'; But it is hard when you have been only with 1 person for 5 years... I have built my life around him, and it is a scary thought. I always feel like I am wrong, and I am confused of my own feelings. I have gotten up the courage to leave, and now he has been nice to me for the past week, and it sends my emotions wacky. I just am so confused... I know he will not change, but there is always that little hope in my head that he can, and maybe he will...In an emotionally abusive relationship... need some advice?
Your boyfriend is a controlling abuser and the time to leave is now...before you get pregnant with his baby. Don't wait until he hits you...and yes, his abuse will get worse. Oh, and don't give him any more of your money. Wait until he goes to work and call in sick. Move and take everything with you (see my answer to another of your questions for more detailed list of what to take with you...make sure all form of financial records (work, bank, tax, educational) and identification and pictures are with you).
And please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
www.ndvh.org
Good luck and please let me know when you are safe!
edit:
This is your question that I originally responded to:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Your boyfriend is a controlling abuser and the time to leave is now...before you get pregnant with his baby. Don't wait until he hits you...and yes, his abuse will get worse. Oh, and don't give him any more of your money. Wait until he goes to work and call in sick. Move and take everything with you (see my answer to another of your questions for more detailed list of what to take with you...make sure all form of financial records (work, bank, tax, educational) and identification and pictures are with you).
And please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline:
1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
www.ndvh.org
Good luck and please let me know when you are safe!
edit:
This is your question that I originally responded to:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Is my 6 year relationship over =( any advice?
hello to anyone who reads my letter. I am 20 years old ive been dating my girlfriend for 6 years already. We have survived a lot together and have grown together. We have also talked about having a future of marriage family, and growing old. Know its a long distant relationship again and her attitude towards me has change shes more cold, has an excuse to not talk to me but not for others, it doesn't feel the same anymore she doesn't want to let go and still loves me she tells me, and im trying my hardest not to let go. She told me its her and decided to find herself to make it stronger, but its gotten worse. Why hasn't she let go if she wanted to, did i lose my best friend and Did i lose the person i ever loved and wanted to grow old. Why out of nowhere too. But this is the very first in the whole six years I'm afraid and don't know what to do. And that never happensIs my 6 year relationship over =( any advice?
Its all about communication and what you do. There's a problem to be sure. If she says she loves you, you have to DECIDE whether or not to trust her and just go with it. FAITH and reassurance is what is needed most. Talk to her, don't dwell on it while talking with her. And do what keeps people together in the first place: make the best out of every moment you have with her (real life and virtual). Also, be ready to let her go. She's as much in this as you are, and that's her decision to make. But if you trust her, then by her own word she's not going anywhere! :) Hang in there buddy, in the end its all good. If its not all good, then its not the end!Is my 6 year relationship over =( any advice?
You seem like a VERY sweet guy. I dont want to see you hurt :[ Maybe yur girlfriend just needs a little space. Maybe she is stressing about something. Try to talk to her to maybe get things off of her chest.Im sure you will be fine. Good luck!
yes
All I can tell you is to keep supporting her. She probably needs some space or time to herself to pick herself up, so just encourage her with as much positive energy as possible. In the meantime, concentrate on making yourself better. Maybe she's being cold because she wants to see you improve? (But you stated it's her, so just help her out).
When is the last time you two have seen each other? If it's been over 3 months (based off this 6-year relationship), I would pack my stuff up and go visit her. Or if she can wait till summer, then make plans now.
This advice is not 100% though. Providing tips that may/may not work.
You're prolly just in that relationship not even for 3 years amirite amirite? Look brah, from what I'm reading it doesn't even sound like a two way relationship no more. She is changing and you are probably missing the old her of what she once was to you. I honestly don't see her returning to her original self so now you have a choice...
Just think about it for a long while whether you want to stay with her or not. She is not the same as she once was and even if she changed back you will have that stale feeling of her doing that to you in the first place (her changing on you and hurting you). She is most likely not doing this on purpose, but there is something wrong with this relationship if something as drastic as this is taking place.
Lost might be the first feeling you may be having, since it came out of nowhere. But stay focused and figure out if this pain and confusion is really worth it. It seems this is your first real love so that in itself will cloud your mind. Trust me, you will be feeling pain if you let her go even if it became the right choice. But don't let that stop you if that is your decision.
The pain will be temporary and the days may seem long for you right now but you should honestly use these days to just think. Uncloud your mind and ask yourself if this is worth it. Trust me, the pain worse than breaking up is staying with someone you love but hurts you and staying with someone but ended up breaking up and realizing you had so many opportunities but missed them because you ended up staying with the wrong girl.
Game is what you lost if this keeps going without a direction.
There is no lulz in this and realize this is serious. Keep your head up and ask her what her problem being in this relationship is. If she keeps the same answer or says she doesn't really know what she wants for herself or for the relationship then you should leave her because she is just wasting your time. Remember, you are not alone in this and know your fronds are still there for you, no matter what.
Its all about communication and what you do. There's a problem to be sure. If she says she loves you, you have to DECIDE whether or not to trust her and just go with it. FAITH and reassurance is what is needed most. Talk to her, don't dwell on it while talking with her. And do what keeps people together in the first place: make the best out of every moment you have with her (real life and virtual). Also, be ready to let her go. She's as much in this as you are, and that's her decision to make. But if you trust her, then by her own word she's not going anywhere! :) Hang in there buddy, in the end its all good. If its not all good, then its not the end!Is my 6 year relationship over =( any advice?
You seem like a VERY sweet guy. I dont want to see you hurt :[ Maybe yur girlfriend just needs a little space. Maybe she is stressing about something. Try to talk to her to maybe get things off of her chest.Im sure you will be fine. Good luck!
yes
All I can tell you is to keep supporting her. She probably needs some space or time to herself to pick herself up, so just encourage her with as much positive energy as possible. In the meantime, concentrate on making yourself better. Maybe she's being cold because she wants to see you improve? (But you stated it's her, so just help her out).
When is the last time you two have seen each other? If it's been over 3 months (based off this 6-year relationship), I would pack my stuff up and go visit her. Or if she can wait till summer, then make plans now.
This advice is not 100% though. Providing tips that may/may not work.
You're prolly just in that relationship not even for 3 years amirite amirite? Look brah, from what I'm reading it doesn't even sound like a two way relationship no more. She is changing and you are probably missing the old her of what she once was to you. I honestly don't see her returning to her original self so now you have a choice...
Just think about it for a long while whether you want to stay with her or not. She is not the same as she once was and even if she changed back you will have that stale feeling of her doing that to you in the first place (her changing on you and hurting you). She is most likely not doing this on purpose, but there is something wrong with this relationship if something as drastic as this is taking place.
Lost might be the first feeling you may be having, since it came out of nowhere. But stay focused and figure out if this pain and confusion is really worth it. It seems this is your first real love so that in itself will cloud your mind. Trust me, you will be feeling pain if you let her go even if it became the right choice. But don't let that stop you if that is your decision.
The pain will be temporary and the days may seem long for you right now but you should honestly use these days to just think. Uncloud your mind and ask yourself if this is worth it. Trust me, the pain worse than breaking up is staying with someone you love but hurts you and staying with someone but ended up breaking up and realizing you had so many opportunities but missed them because you ended up staying with the wrong girl.
Game is what you lost if this keeps going without a direction.
There is no lulz in this and realize this is serious. Keep your head up and ask her what her problem being in this relationship is. If she keeps the same answer or says she doesn't really know what she wants for herself or for the relationship then you should leave her because she is just wasting your time. Remember, you are not alone in this and know your fronds are still there for you, no matter what.
Ughh.. kinda of a relationship problem.. need advice!!?
ok so.. my boyfriend and i broke up October 2007.. the day he started college.. he met a new girl in his class and to my knowledge they were dating (he says they werent but o well) now i go to the same college and its just a small college... and she is in his class and i see her everywhere :( we are now back together and engaged... but seeing her is very hard... i know, i have him and she doesnt but it doesnt take away the fact that the pain i felt last year doesnt come storming back everytime i see or even think of her.. no matter how many times or people say im alot prettier then her and all that.. it still hurts :( some people say i should just show her up kinda thing, and some ppl say to avoid her but like i said, VERY small school.. in his class, kinda hard to completely avoid seeing herUghh.. kinda of a relationship problem.. need advice!!?
Are you sure you are ready to be married to a guy you do not feel that you can trust 100%? That is the issue, not her or you....it sounds like you are afraid he will do this again once your back is turned. She is just the reminder if what HE did to you....I really would go see the school counselor or get one out of school and work through this. You need to get past this for YOURSELF, not him or her at all. AND you need time to rethink who you are and what you are worth. Being engaged does not mean he is worthy of your trust, but it does not mean he is not either. I think your issue runs much deeper than just seeing this girl, it is what she represents that makes you nutty, and this will not go away unless you deal with it, even if she were to leave. Very interresting once you think of it huh? Mull it over. Call a counselor of some sort and get on with it.
Are you sure you are ready to be married to a guy you do not feel that you can trust 100%? That is the issue, not her or you....it sounds like you are afraid he will do this again once your back is turned. She is just the reminder if what HE did to you....I really would go see the school counselor or get one out of school and work through this. You need to get past this for YOURSELF, not him or her at all. AND you need time to rethink who you are and what you are worth. Being engaged does not mean he is worthy of your trust, but it does not mean he is not either. I think your issue runs much deeper than just seeing this girl, it is what she represents that makes you nutty, and this will not go away unless you deal with it, even if she were to leave. Very interresting once you think of it huh? Mull it over. Call a counselor of some sort and get on with it.
15 yr old needs relationship (with mom) advice?
i love my mom very very much
but im not happy whenever i am living with her and i dont know why
she is a great mom..she has rules for me but she also gives me a lot of freedom and she trusts me and me and her get along great
but i dont want to live with her because im always sad it's not even her that gets me sad i dont know what it is
wen i was 14 i moved with my dad and then like 7 months later moved back with my mom becasue i missed her and then like 2 month later i moved with her 2nd cousin and now (1.5 months later) i moved back with my mom but i cant stop having these crying spells and i just want to go back with my mom cousin...idk what to do...i love my mom but im so depressed living with her..what is wrong with me?!?!!?15 yr old needs relationship (with mom) advice?
stop moving back and fourth like you have been you are 15 you need to be in a stable environment. you might be a bit depressed which that is normal nothing to be ashamed of I'd go to the doctor and ask to get put on anti-depressants they work good and there not addictive and i think they will really help. i had crying spells and stuff like that for a long time then i finally got sick of it and went to the doctor and that's what she put me on anti-depressants. it's not expensive either if you get generic you can get it for like 10$$'s. i really hope I've helped in some way sorry things aren't good right now. Good luck!!15 yr old needs relationship (with mom) advice?
Your mom isn't the problem here. You're a teenager, so it's totally natural to have mood swings and to be depressed now and then. If it really impacts your life (you can't enjoy the day or change your mood) or keeps coming back, then you need to find the source of the unhappiness, and fix it.
Talking with a therapist or counselor, or even just writing in a journal, can be a big help. Just keep writing or talking, and after awhile you'll get to the heart of the problem and see what is really bothering you. Talk with your mom and ask for her help.
I have the same prob but my parents still live wit eachother but for one you can talk to her but it didn't really work with me and then just plan things with her
Step one is to figure out what makes you sad.
Talk to a counselor.
but im not happy whenever i am living with her and i dont know why
she is a great mom..she has rules for me but she also gives me a lot of freedom and she trusts me and me and her get along great
but i dont want to live with her because im always sad it's not even her that gets me sad i dont know what it is
wen i was 14 i moved with my dad and then like 7 months later moved back with my mom becasue i missed her and then like 2 month later i moved with her 2nd cousin and now (1.5 months later) i moved back with my mom but i cant stop having these crying spells and i just want to go back with my mom cousin...idk what to do...i love my mom but im so depressed living with her..what is wrong with me?!?!!?15 yr old needs relationship (with mom) advice?
stop moving back and fourth like you have been you are 15 you need to be in a stable environment. you might be a bit depressed which that is normal nothing to be ashamed of I'd go to the doctor and ask to get put on anti-depressants they work good and there not addictive and i think they will really help. i had crying spells and stuff like that for a long time then i finally got sick of it and went to the doctor and that's what she put me on anti-depressants. it's not expensive either if you get generic you can get it for like 10$$'s. i really hope I've helped in some way sorry things aren't good right now. Good luck!!15 yr old needs relationship (with mom) advice?
Your mom isn't the problem here. You're a teenager, so it's totally natural to have mood swings and to be depressed now and then. If it really impacts your life (you can't enjoy the day or change your mood) or keeps coming back, then you need to find the source of the unhappiness, and fix it.
Talking with a therapist or counselor, or even just writing in a journal, can be a big help. Just keep writing or talking, and after awhile you'll get to the heart of the problem and see what is really bothering you. Talk with your mom and ask for her help.
I have the same prob but my parents still live wit eachother but for one you can talk to her but it didn't really work with me and then just plan things with her
Step one is to figure out what makes you sad.
Talk to a counselor.
Is this good advice for women in relationships?
Step 6
Ask for compliance, not submission. Avoid creating a struggle by asking the man for more than he can do at one time. For example, if your man is really excited, he may be unable or unwilling to lay down, but agreeable to sit quietly for a minute. Dominating your man will not teach him to obey out of respect and love, only from submission. Compromise, give the man other options and be reasonable.Is this good advice for women in relationships?
Being reasonable and willing to compromise is essential to any good relationship. Attempting to dominate a partner will diminish it. However this advice is equally relevant to both sides in the relationship. regardless of gender. The best relationships are built on a foundation of love, respect and trust.Is this good advice for women in relationships?
Not really though, I mean he might start drooling, scratching the furniture, or ';making'; on the floor unless he's already trained fairly well...
Oh wait! Wait a minute, I think I misread the question... Yeah this won't work on humans, sorry...
Perhaps if he's a dog?
Sounds like this is borrowed from a dog training manual.
Otherwise, no, lol.
I am not sure I get this. Are you discussing a man-woman relationship or canine obedience school?
obey
submission
dominating
Perhaps you have some issues to clear up?
Compromise, be reasonable, and don't overburden him. Sounds good to me.
Ask for compliance, not submission. Avoid creating a struggle by asking the man for more than he can do at one time. For example, if your man is really excited, he may be unable or unwilling to lay down, but agreeable to sit quietly for a minute. Dominating your man will not teach him to obey out of respect and love, only from submission. Compromise, give the man other options and be reasonable.Is this good advice for women in relationships?
Being reasonable and willing to compromise is essential to any good relationship. Attempting to dominate a partner will diminish it. However this advice is equally relevant to both sides in the relationship. regardless of gender. The best relationships are built on a foundation of love, respect and trust.Is this good advice for women in relationships?
Not really though, I mean he might start drooling, scratching the furniture, or ';making'; on the floor unless he's already trained fairly well...
Oh wait! Wait a minute, I think I misread the question... Yeah this won't work on humans, sorry...
Perhaps if he's a dog?
Sounds like this is borrowed from a dog training manual.
Otherwise, no, lol.
I am not sure I get this. Are you discussing a man-woman relationship or canine obedience school?
obey
submission
dominating
Perhaps you have some issues to clear up?
Compromise, be reasonable, and don't overburden him. Sounds good to me.
Insecure in my relationship! need some advice!?
Ok so I'm in a relationship with the most amazing guy ever, he loves me, I love him, he does everything for me, he's just perfect for me. Here's the thing, at first I was real confident and I was just carefree, because I knew if we broke up I wouldn't care. But now it's been 5 months and I'm really beginning to feel scared! Last couple of relationships have been abusive, and I've been lied to, I'm scared to just let myself go and have this all happen again! Can anybody tell me what I can do? Thank you!Insecure in my relationship! need some advice!?
have confidence in yourself and dont look for trouble when there isnt any .Your boyfriend chose you to be with dont doubt yourself and lose your confidence as your boyfriend loves you and you tell yourself when you begin to have those fears that he chose me because iam a lovely person and that is why he wants to be with me . if you start acting scared and hold back on your boyfriend he wont know why and that is when you may experience trouble . why dont you discuss it with your boyfriend and tell him your fears .Insecure in my relationship! need some advice!?
Just be aware. That is all you can do. Look for signs of controlling behavior and anything else that was similar to previous abusive relationships. Remain a independent women. Treat each other as equals. If he does the same your most likely fine.
Good luck I hope things turn out well. Don't live in fear of the past. The past is just there for learning. Now apply what you have learned to this relationship. Be strong and keep your head up.
I am sure everything is fine you just seem nervous about being hurt again and this is totally normal.
Has he done anything in the past that made you insecure? If not than I wouldn't worry about something like this.
Well, the thing is, you have to just ';let yourself go';....i understand the fear you might have, but dont let past experiences ruin this one, be confident in ur relationship and the man you're with. One important thing might be even to express your feelings/fears to the guy you're with...communication is a key to a great relationshipoily skin
have confidence in yourself and dont look for trouble when there isnt any .Your boyfriend chose you to be with dont doubt yourself and lose your confidence as your boyfriend loves you and you tell yourself when you begin to have those fears that he chose me because iam a lovely person and that is why he wants to be with me . if you start acting scared and hold back on your boyfriend he wont know why and that is when you may experience trouble . why dont you discuss it with your boyfriend and tell him your fears .Insecure in my relationship! need some advice!?
Just be aware. That is all you can do. Look for signs of controlling behavior and anything else that was similar to previous abusive relationships. Remain a independent women. Treat each other as equals. If he does the same your most likely fine.
Good luck I hope things turn out well. Don't live in fear of the past. The past is just there for learning. Now apply what you have learned to this relationship. Be strong and keep your head up.
I am sure everything is fine you just seem nervous about being hurt again and this is totally normal.
Has he done anything in the past that made you insecure? If not than I wouldn't worry about something like this.
Well, the thing is, you have to just ';let yourself go';....i understand the fear you might have, but dont let past experiences ruin this one, be confident in ur relationship and the man you're with. One important thing might be even to express your feelings/fears to the guy you're with...communication is a key to a great relationship
Confused about this relationship....need some advice!?
I used to go out with this guy for about 1 year...and then we broke up but i still liked him for about 2 years later....we grew apart and hardly saw each other but still talked to each other on msn alot....after i started uni i met a guy, who i was attracted to after a while...and he felt the same way...we talked about things and decided to tell each other how we felt....a week or so later...we started dating.....things were working out fine and i was certain to be over my ex....but then recently feelings for my ex have started coming back again....and i feel so unfaithful to my bf...because i like him alot...and i dont wanna leave him...but i still sorta like my ex...but know if im with him i will miss my current relationship...but im tryn so hard to make my current relo work...its just that i like different things about them but sometimes i expect things from my current bf like it happened in my previous relationship...how do i learn to accept they are diff people n diff situations?Confused about this relationship....need some advice!?
Its a horrible thing having a thing for ur Ex when ur in a relationship. first thing dont tell him u do this will anger him alot lol and u gota figure urself out fast befor he gets hurt from it + its not worth being in a relationship with sum1 u dont truely love because its just toying with their feelingsConfused about this relationship....need some advice!?
When you figure out how to except people are different depending on the circumstances bottle it up and sell it! You'd be so wealthy. I don't understand it either. Also you have to remember when you're looking at something from the rearview mirror or from the outside it always appears a lot less unpleasant/more interesting than it actually is.
Maybe you just don't like your current partner as much. Working too hard to make feelings manifest that don't come naturally is an indication the relationship is not appropriate. It might be time to reassess your relationship, if only to determine if it's what you really want.
Maybe get to know your current bf better....have more discussions with him and become better friends....that will help the relationship a bit i think. It must be hard to forget about your ex but you have to realize that your current bf cares about you...i mean, hes proud to know you, proud enough to call you his gf! think about it....and do what you think is right not what others say is right! it's up to you!
u need to learn to understand tht they bothare two different people....have u told ur current boyfrnd abt ut ex??? if u have then talk to him bat this and tell him u love him but u keep comparing them even if u dont want to..he might help u out nad if u havent told him i think u must coz a true relation is based on honesty and trust from both sides....listen to ur heart and do wht is right!!!
grl i went through the same thing!
but it ended up terribly
anyways.....STICK WITH YOUR BF!!!!
because you'll regret it later on
Its a horrible thing having a thing for ur Ex when ur in a relationship. first thing dont tell him u do this will anger him alot lol and u gota figure urself out fast befor he gets hurt from it + its not worth being in a relationship with sum1 u dont truely love because its just toying with their feelingsConfused about this relationship....need some advice!?
When you figure out how to except people are different depending on the circumstances bottle it up and sell it! You'd be so wealthy. I don't understand it either. Also you have to remember when you're looking at something from the rearview mirror or from the outside it always appears a lot less unpleasant/more interesting than it actually is.
Maybe you just don't like your current partner as much. Working too hard to make feelings manifest that don't come naturally is an indication the relationship is not appropriate. It might be time to reassess your relationship, if only to determine if it's what you really want.
Maybe get to know your current bf better....have more discussions with him and become better friends....that will help the relationship a bit i think. It must be hard to forget about your ex but you have to realize that your current bf cares about you...i mean, hes proud to know you, proud enough to call you his gf! think about it....and do what you think is right not what others say is right! it's up to you!
u need to learn to understand tht they bothare two different people....have u told ur current boyfrnd abt ut ex??? if u have then talk to him bat this and tell him u love him but u keep comparing them even if u dont want to..he might help u out nad if u havent told him i think u must coz a true relation is based on honesty and trust from both sides....listen to ur heart and do wht is right!!!
grl i went through the same thing!
but it ended up terribly
anyways.....STICK WITH YOUR BF!!!!
because you'll regret it later on
Trouble with my relationship - please serious advice?
I have been with my fiance for 3 yrs now. We live together %26amp; have a gorgeous little 5 month old boy that makes my life worth living. It's amazing how fast he turns a bad day into a good one with a little smile :) I love my fiance very much %26amp; have always had a rocky relationship. I found out he was cheating on me 2 yrs into the relationship %26amp; I made the mistake to revenge cheat on him as well. We both decided to work on it but still have many problems. He doesn't trust me although I've managed to trust him. He has a very bad attitude %26amp; gets upset very quickly. When he gets upset he calls me names (cusses %26amp; threatens to slap me- although he never has hit me). He doesn't trust me at work %26amp; when I step out for lunch it turns into a big argument because he says that I was out cheating on him with someone from work. Which is entirely false! I only have lunch with 2 girlfriends of mine. We are not affectionate with each other at all. Don't know what to do anymore... I'm very frustrated. There's no respect between us..Trouble with my relationship - please serious advice?
if he seems to threaten you physically and hurt you emotionally/verbally then your not gonna gain anything from this relationship . you're feelings seem to lower and lower each day since he makes you mad or upsets you in different ways . i know its kind of weird that i am 16 and im answering your question but i witness this everyday with my mom and stepdad . its not worth it . you can find someone so much better that treats you right . you're fiance sounds like he's crazy and needs some therapy or a little help so i would try and break it of because its not worth your pain . in a relationship you need trust, respect, and love . if you dont have that then you two will never get anywhere .Trouble with my relationship - please serious advice?
Leave the guy, he is not a very nice person to be around. It could end up in death. And do you really want your child to grow up in that environment. It will teach your son it is ok to treat women with no respect. I would leave.
have you seen fireproof(the marriage fixer movie), there's also a book that goes with it, called the love dare..
let your boyfriend watch the movie(if you can),
and you read the book, and get him to do it to.
after my boyfriend watched that movie, he's become so much more reliable, helpful, more respectful towards me and others, he's become a better man because of it. try it out, hope it helps!
Hopefully you are reading some of these answers and taking good advice. If your relationship has gotten so bad that he is cussing and threatening to hit you, do you think a marriage with this man will work out any better? You could try counseling, but I think you should prepare to get a child support order and get away from him before he really does start hitting you. He does not LOVE you.
sorry to say, once you reach that point, its over, move on.the trust is gone, and most likely forever, it would be like beating a dead horse,
first let sget this out, theres no such thing as revenge cheating.YOU JUST WANTED to cheat anyway. it looks like you two have run your course.GO ahead and split and set up visitatation and child support ,and go on with your lives.
This may seem like odd advice...and I'm sure most people will tell you to dump him, but leaving your child without a father should be the last resort and not the first one.
You have to compartmentalize his cheating and yours. You have to deal with you being cheated on. Decide if you TRULY forgive him...and if you do...let it go.
Second of all, you have to recognize that your cheating on your boyfriend was YOUR FAULT...not his. You are a woman and presumably a lady, so no matter how ignorant he acts there is a manner in which you should carry yourself at all times. What you did was wrong because it was done deliberately to hurt him. While he was thinking with his pants...YOU WERE THINKING when you did what you did. He has a right to be angry. While I don't agree that he should be yelling at you and threatening you, you however should atone for what you did and do what is necessary to earn his trust back.
I'll give you an example. While I never cheated on my girlfriend, before we made it official I was seeing other women. I was staying at her house and would drive the 85 miles to my house for over nights or weekends with other women. She eventually found out and the fact that we weren't official was the only thing that allowed her to forgive me; however it hurt her no less. In order to make up for that I hardly ever went back to my house unless it was absolutely necessary. And when I did, I would call or email her regularly just so that she would know that I wasn't with someone.
You might modify your actions by letting your boyfriend know in advance where you're going and contact him while you're there (let him hear some background noise) just so that he will feel comfortable. After a while, he will regain trust in you.
Now, I'm sure that my response is going to be the opposite of what everyone else is going to tell you. People are going to tell you to dump him because he cheated. You already forgave him so it's an old issue. They're going to tell you to dump him because he yells and threatens to slap you. Yelling isn't illegal and it is also a show of emotions which may be difficult for him. Threatening to slap you is not the same as slapping you. I threaten to shoot my kids, but as of yet there are no bullet holes in them.
Someone once told me that you can never dump someone unless you are the best man(woman) you can be because you never know if their behavior is due to your poor behavior.
Good luck...remember you have a child involved.
Let me ask you, what exactly is it that you love about this relationship? Sounds to me like the two of you have more problems than you do advantages. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean that you have to continue living your life like this. No one deserves that. If the two you you can't clean this up with counseling, I really think you need to leave and get in a healthy relationship if not for your sake then for the sake of your child. You really think this is a good environment to raise a child in?
Red
There's too much to go into here. Both of you blew it - as you know.
BUT - this can be fixed. Go to www.marriagerepaircenter.com. Read the website. There's a LOT of help offered right on their site. They have free phone and email consulting too.
Where you made your biggest mistake, was cheating on him! That is never the answer, and you put yourself in this situation when you did.
Unfortunately its different for men when woman cheat, vs the other way around. His ego has been damaged. Yes he cheated on you, and that was bad enough, but when you call yourself getting back at him for cheating, you put yourself in the hot seat, and he actually became the victim in the relationship.
Infidelity is a very serious thing in a relationship. Trust is the key factor here, and you both screwed up. He has no right to treat you like crap, however, you have no right to demand much from him, because of your dishonesty.
You may want to seek counseling, and if it helps thats a good thing, otherwise,
It may just be over for the both of you, and that's sad, because you have a young child to raise, but it may just be time to move on, and if so, Do Not, use your child as a weapon against him. Let him continue to be apart of your childs life.
move on cause living like this isn't really living happy
The only thing you have to decide is this:
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?
You don't have to be hit to be abused. He is verbally and emotionally abusive, you need to leave this relationship.
it's time for a change honey. you don't need to be accused of something you didn't do. if it were me and i got accused of doing things all the time, i guess i would do it. i'm already catching the hell. take your little pride and joy and try to start a new life. you will find someone who you can trust, and who can trust you. someone who will put as big of smile on your face as your child does. life is short, so be happy , find someone you can trust.
Time to move on.
if he seems to threaten you physically and hurt you emotionally/verbally then your not gonna gain anything from this relationship . you're feelings seem to lower and lower each day since he makes you mad or upsets you in different ways . i know its kind of weird that i am 16 and im answering your question but i witness this everyday with my mom and stepdad . its not worth it . you can find someone so much better that treats you right . you're fiance sounds like he's crazy and needs some therapy or a little help so i would try and break it of because its not worth your pain . in a relationship you need trust, respect, and love . if you dont have that then you two will never get anywhere .Trouble with my relationship - please serious advice?
Leave the guy, he is not a very nice person to be around. It could end up in death. And do you really want your child to grow up in that environment. It will teach your son it is ok to treat women with no respect. I would leave.
have you seen fireproof(the marriage fixer movie), there's also a book that goes with it, called the love dare..
let your boyfriend watch the movie(if you can),
and you read the book, and get him to do it to.
after my boyfriend watched that movie, he's become so much more reliable, helpful, more respectful towards me and others, he's become a better man because of it. try it out, hope it helps!
Hopefully you are reading some of these answers and taking good advice. If your relationship has gotten so bad that he is cussing and threatening to hit you, do you think a marriage with this man will work out any better? You could try counseling, but I think you should prepare to get a child support order and get away from him before he really does start hitting you. He does not LOVE you.
sorry to say, once you reach that point, its over, move on.the trust is gone, and most likely forever, it would be like beating a dead horse,
first let sget this out, theres no such thing as revenge cheating.YOU JUST WANTED to cheat anyway. it looks like you two have run your course.GO ahead and split and set up visitatation and child support ,and go on with your lives.
This may seem like odd advice...and I'm sure most people will tell you to dump him, but leaving your child without a father should be the last resort and not the first one.
You have to compartmentalize his cheating and yours. You have to deal with you being cheated on. Decide if you TRULY forgive him...and if you do...let it go.
Second of all, you have to recognize that your cheating on your boyfriend was YOUR FAULT...not his. You are a woman and presumably a lady, so no matter how ignorant he acts there is a manner in which you should carry yourself at all times. What you did was wrong because it was done deliberately to hurt him. While he was thinking with his pants...YOU WERE THINKING when you did what you did. He has a right to be angry. While I don't agree that he should be yelling at you and threatening you, you however should atone for what you did and do what is necessary to earn his trust back.
I'll give you an example. While I never cheated on my girlfriend, before we made it official I was seeing other women. I was staying at her house and would drive the 85 miles to my house for over nights or weekends with other women. She eventually found out and the fact that we weren't official was the only thing that allowed her to forgive me; however it hurt her no less. In order to make up for that I hardly ever went back to my house unless it was absolutely necessary. And when I did, I would call or email her regularly just so that she would know that I wasn't with someone.
You might modify your actions by letting your boyfriend know in advance where you're going and contact him while you're there (let him hear some background noise) just so that he will feel comfortable. After a while, he will regain trust in you.
Now, I'm sure that my response is going to be the opposite of what everyone else is going to tell you. People are going to tell you to dump him because he cheated. You already forgave him so it's an old issue. They're going to tell you to dump him because he yells and threatens to slap you. Yelling isn't illegal and it is also a show of emotions which may be difficult for him. Threatening to slap you is not the same as slapping you. I threaten to shoot my kids, but as of yet there are no bullet holes in them.
Someone once told me that you can never dump someone unless you are the best man(woman) you can be because you never know if their behavior is due to your poor behavior.
Good luck...remember you have a child involved.
Let me ask you, what exactly is it that you love about this relationship? Sounds to me like the two of you have more problems than you do advantages. Just because you have a child together doesn't mean that you have to continue living your life like this. No one deserves that. If the two you you can't clean this up with counseling, I really think you need to leave and get in a healthy relationship if not for your sake then for the sake of your child. You really think this is a good environment to raise a child in?
Red
There's too much to go into here. Both of you blew it - as you know.
BUT - this can be fixed. Go to www.marriagerepaircenter.com. Read the website. There's a LOT of help offered right on their site. They have free phone and email consulting too.
Where you made your biggest mistake, was cheating on him! That is never the answer, and you put yourself in this situation when you did.
Unfortunately its different for men when woman cheat, vs the other way around. His ego has been damaged. Yes he cheated on you, and that was bad enough, but when you call yourself getting back at him for cheating, you put yourself in the hot seat, and he actually became the victim in the relationship.
Infidelity is a very serious thing in a relationship. Trust is the key factor here, and you both screwed up. He has no right to treat you like crap, however, you have no right to demand much from him, because of your dishonesty.
You may want to seek counseling, and if it helps thats a good thing, otherwise,
It may just be over for the both of you, and that's sad, because you have a young child to raise, but it may just be time to move on, and if so, Do Not, use your child as a weapon against him. Let him continue to be apart of your childs life.
move on cause living like this isn't really living happy
The only thing you have to decide is this:
Do you really want to spend the rest of your life like this?
You don't have to be hit to be abused. He is verbally and emotionally abusive, you need to leave this relationship.
it's time for a change honey. you don't need to be accused of something you didn't do. if it were me and i got accused of doing things all the time, i guess i would do it. i'm already catching the hell. take your little pride and joy and try to start a new life. you will find someone who you can trust, and who can trust you. someone who will put as big of smile on your face as your child does. life is short, so be happy , find someone you can trust.
Time to move on.
Friend needs advice on 3yrs relationship?
he is 3 yrs younger than her and had somewhat of a sheltered upbringing, where she has had chances to experience life a little more than he. They live together and he told her that she is the 1 but wants to go out and date as friends and get himself together so that they can get married and have no regrets. He doesn't want to break up with her but thinks that they need to seperate (live seperately) but still be together? WTF am I supposed to tell her ? He is a very nice guy (a little naieve) but to me it sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too?Friend needs advice on 3yrs relationship?
yeah a little niaeve, time the lil boy grows up and FACES REALITY in the big bad world. WTF is he, an IDIOT? dump his butt and he will learn to grow up and not be so sheltered (if he doesnt run home to mommy). If he wants to date others then she is NOT THE ONE!!!!!!!!
yeah a little niaeve, time the lil boy grows up and FACES REALITY in the big bad world. WTF is he, an IDIOT? dump his butt and he will learn to grow up and not be so sheltered (if he doesnt run home to mommy). If he wants to date others then she is NOT THE ONE!!!!!!!!
Will someone give me advice on this abusive relationship?
My best friend is a 21yo female.
She is married to a 23 year old male who is an alcohlic, he abuses her, physically and mentally, he physically threatens her( with weapons I might add ), and the list ocntinues..
She has one kid with him, whom he doesn't care for.
He is in and out of jail for assalt charges (on her and her friends and other males).
And I recently found out that for the last few months he has been drugging her with ruphinol and rohypnol.
Nightly, they fight, and it normally ends with him being dragged away by cops and her bleeding, or them arguing until she quits and says ';ok it was my fault';
What hurts me the most is that the next day she will have either blacked out or will forgive him like it never happened.Will someone give me advice on this abusive relationship?
First of all I have read the above statements and some of them are very insensitive. I can't believe in this day and age that anyone would want you to turn the other cheek and leave your friend. Also blaming the victim is one of the worse things anyone can do. These people are appalling.
I would suggest either you or her find a local woman's abuse shelter. They can help her out financially and emotionally until she is up on her feet. Ultimately she needs to make the decision to leave but she does need support in order to feel strong enough to do so. If she has family I would ask her to talk to them (unless your close enough to talk to them for her) and find out if they will/can support her. If she's being drugged he should be arrested for that (and possibly rape, she should know that just because he's her husband it doesn't mean that the sex is consensual). She needs your support, especially if you're a close friend and I'm guessing you are since you know all the details. She needs to get out and she needs your help. Good luck.Will someone give me advice on this abusive relationship?
So sad. She probably does not forgive him but is threatened by him. Maybe she feels that she has no where to go that she will be protected from him. She is in a very difficult position. Maybe you could find some local agencies for her where they could give her and her child a safe place to stay along with legal and emotional help. Women in these circumstances do not stay there because they enjoy it, they stay because they don't know where to go or what to do. Please do what you can to help her.
very sad... It's hard to leave, she need alot of support and empowerment to raise the kid on her own, and maybe one day she will find a good guy...
You need to buy a felony amount of drugs and plant it somewhere in his car and then call the cops as an anonymous tip and have them pull him over and arrest him on felony charges so he will go to prison for a long time and she can escape.
Note: (disclaimer) the above is a joke and should not be taken literally.
If he's drugging her, I wonder if he's raping her. Probably, she can get him thrown in jail on rape charges and then file for divorce. Of course, that's only if she stops being a dumb bint and crap mother because no good mother would stay in that situation if she can get out and you don't say anything about her financial situation, so to make it simple, I'll assume she can leave, but is too stupid to leave. I suggest you tell her to smarten up and call child protective services and get the child taken away from both parents. No one deserves that kind of idiocy growing up.
I agree with the last post. When in an abusive relationship the person needs as much support as possible. When you are abused you lose so much of your own self respect. You begin to believe all the degrading comments and start to believe you deserved it because you should have know better than to say what you did or didn't have dinner on the table on time. The abusers are people whom feel they have to have control. They are the ones with the problem of who they are. Because of their own lack of self worth they have to hurt people. As a friend all you can do is try to educate, support and encourage her to make a better life for herself and her child. There are shelters for abused women. Maybe getting her to go to one and finding out she isn't alone will help. The internet is the informational highway. Find a support group some where on line for her to chat to other women in your area that can help because they've experienced it. Just do what you can to help. If she doesn't accept your help at least you know you tried.
ok, best thing i can tell you is stay away from that train wreck
just walk away and don't bother with it, do not get sucked into a situation that is bad already and getting worse
there really is not much you can do for her and i seriously doubt that she would even want you to do anything for her
just walk away and don't look back
theres really nothing you can do but try your best to be there for her.you cant make her leave its up to her to be strong and be able to stand up for herself by leaving.just keep telling her that she can find better and that she deserves better and also let her know that a guy like that can end up hurting more than she can imagine alot of women who stay end up dead hopefully that doesnt happen to her just try to open her eyes .plus she is most likely too scared to leave thats why she needs a friend to be there for as much as possible
She must like it, she keeps going right back to it.
after many years of being abused, she probably has such a low self worth, that she doesn't feel really abused, she feels its normal, and doesn't feel she deserves any better. also if he is drugging her, he has control over her. she needs to get out of it, but she probably won't do it out of fear, and abandonment issues.
She needs help. Is there a ';safe house'; she could take her son to. What about her parents? He doesn't sound like a guy I want.
it sound she loves him that for she forgive him again and again so wait till she realize what she want but good to told her they you are on her side when she Need some thing you are ready for her
but some how it sound you are in love with her so think by yourself also
The pattern you describe happens frequently in abusive relationships. It is hard to understand why people forgive but it is also to do with the power relaitonships and for e fear of what will happen if the relationshps ends.
It is very hard for the legal service to do things in many places if the wife does not lay charges.
the lady needs to seek professional help. There are many organizations that deal in this area, such as domestic violence counselors. Many places of womans refuges. Often the first step is to break the link to give the woman some time away to seek options and to be away from the abusive influence.
One should not forget it can be very very scary for the woman.
story short mom was abused 5 kids all has a problem
1 in and out of jail you name she did it[gave up kids]
2 abuses kid cant hold job drugs 3 drugs [gives up]
4 eating disorder depressed
5 low self asteam drugs eating disorder
my mother stayed was it worth it for children
You need to take an active role here. Look up in your phone book for the number to the local women's abuse chapter or call you state's mental health department for referrals and phone numbers. then get ahold of your friend and say it is killing you not to mention its killing her but most important it may kill her kid emotionally to see all this happening. Give her the number and tell her you will drive her their once she calls them and they say she can come for help and a place to stay. That's what friends do on such a critical situation. Obviously the husband is not a man but a brute so you be a man and help this woman. Your reward will be knowing you made a difference in a kids life and got her mom back safely. Good Luck!
She is married to a 23 year old male who is an alcohlic, he abuses her, physically and mentally, he physically threatens her( with weapons I might add ), and the list ocntinues..
She has one kid with him, whom he doesn't care for.
He is in and out of jail for assalt charges (on her and her friends and other males).
And I recently found out that for the last few months he has been drugging her with ruphinol and rohypnol.
Nightly, they fight, and it normally ends with him being dragged away by cops and her bleeding, or them arguing until she quits and says ';ok it was my fault';
What hurts me the most is that the next day she will have either blacked out or will forgive him like it never happened.Will someone give me advice on this abusive relationship?
First of all I have read the above statements and some of them are very insensitive. I can't believe in this day and age that anyone would want you to turn the other cheek and leave your friend. Also blaming the victim is one of the worse things anyone can do. These people are appalling.
I would suggest either you or her find a local woman's abuse shelter. They can help her out financially and emotionally until she is up on her feet. Ultimately she needs to make the decision to leave but she does need support in order to feel strong enough to do so. If she has family I would ask her to talk to them (unless your close enough to talk to them for her) and find out if they will/can support her. If she's being drugged he should be arrested for that (and possibly rape, she should know that just because he's her husband it doesn't mean that the sex is consensual). She needs your support, especially if you're a close friend and I'm guessing you are since you know all the details. She needs to get out and she needs your help. Good luck.Will someone give me advice on this abusive relationship?
So sad. She probably does not forgive him but is threatened by him. Maybe she feels that she has no where to go that she will be protected from him. She is in a very difficult position. Maybe you could find some local agencies for her where they could give her and her child a safe place to stay along with legal and emotional help. Women in these circumstances do not stay there because they enjoy it, they stay because they don't know where to go or what to do. Please do what you can to help her.
very sad... It's hard to leave, she need alot of support and empowerment to raise the kid on her own, and maybe one day she will find a good guy...
You need to buy a felony amount of drugs and plant it somewhere in his car and then call the cops as an anonymous tip and have them pull him over and arrest him on felony charges so he will go to prison for a long time and she can escape.
Note: (disclaimer) the above is a joke and should not be taken literally.
If he's drugging her, I wonder if he's raping her. Probably, she can get him thrown in jail on rape charges and then file for divorce. Of course, that's only if she stops being a dumb bint and crap mother because no good mother would stay in that situation if she can get out and you don't say anything about her financial situation, so to make it simple, I'll assume she can leave, but is too stupid to leave. I suggest you tell her to smarten up and call child protective services and get the child taken away from both parents. No one deserves that kind of idiocy growing up.
I agree with the last post. When in an abusive relationship the person needs as much support as possible. When you are abused you lose so much of your own self respect. You begin to believe all the degrading comments and start to believe you deserved it because you should have know better than to say what you did or didn't have dinner on the table on time. The abusers are people whom feel they have to have control. They are the ones with the problem of who they are. Because of their own lack of self worth they have to hurt people. As a friend all you can do is try to educate, support and encourage her to make a better life for herself and her child. There are shelters for abused women. Maybe getting her to go to one and finding out she isn't alone will help. The internet is the informational highway. Find a support group some where on line for her to chat to other women in your area that can help because they've experienced it. Just do what you can to help. If she doesn't accept your help at least you know you tried.
ok, best thing i can tell you is stay away from that train wreck
just walk away and don't bother with it, do not get sucked into a situation that is bad already and getting worse
there really is not much you can do for her and i seriously doubt that she would even want you to do anything for her
just walk away and don't look back
theres really nothing you can do but try your best to be there for her.you cant make her leave its up to her to be strong and be able to stand up for herself by leaving.just keep telling her that she can find better and that she deserves better and also let her know that a guy like that can end up hurting more than she can imagine alot of women who stay end up dead hopefully that doesnt happen to her just try to open her eyes .plus she is most likely too scared to leave thats why she needs a friend to be there for as much as possible
She must like it, she keeps going right back to it.
after many years of being abused, she probably has such a low self worth, that she doesn't feel really abused, she feels its normal, and doesn't feel she deserves any better. also if he is drugging her, he has control over her. she needs to get out of it, but she probably won't do it out of fear, and abandonment issues.
She needs help. Is there a ';safe house'; she could take her son to. What about her parents? He doesn't sound like a guy I want.
it sound she loves him that for she forgive him again and again so wait till she realize what she want but good to told her they you are on her side when she Need some thing you are ready for her
but some how it sound you are in love with her so think by yourself also
The pattern you describe happens frequently in abusive relationships. It is hard to understand why people forgive but it is also to do with the power relaitonships and for e fear of what will happen if the relationshps ends.
It is very hard for the legal service to do things in many places if the wife does not lay charges.
the lady needs to seek professional help. There are many organizations that deal in this area, such as domestic violence counselors. Many places of womans refuges. Often the first step is to break the link to give the woman some time away to seek options and to be away from the abusive influence.
One should not forget it can be very very scary for the woman.
story short mom was abused 5 kids all has a problem
1 in and out of jail you name she did it[gave up kids]
2 abuses kid cant hold job drugs 3 drugs [gives up]
4 eating disorder depressed
5 low self asteam drugs eating disorder
my mother stayed was it worth it for children
You need to take an active role here. Look up in your phone book for the number to the local women's abuse chapter or call you state's mental health department for referrals and phone numbers. then get ahold of your friend and say it is killing you not to mention its killing her but most important it may kill her kid emotionally to see all this happening. Give her the number and tell her you will drive her their once she calls them and they say she can come for help and a place to stay. That's what friends do on such a critical situation. Obviously the husband is not a man but a brute so you be a man and help this woman. Your reward will be knowing you made a difference in a kids life and got her mom back safely. Good Luck!
Friends with benefits relationship.. kind of? Advice?
We're both pretty religious and he's waiting for marriage as am I so I know we wouldn't end up having sex or anything. I don't want sex, but I really miss the kissing and physicality of it. We dated for two weeks and decided we were better off as friends, but are still fairly close and hang out every now and again. I'm 16 and he's 18, I have no idea how to go about telling him this.. Neither of us has feelings for each other and I'm pretty sure he'd agree to this. He's going to be gone in a few months and I want to let him know how I feel. I'm kinda shy, how do I go about asking?Friends with benefits relationship.. kind of? Advice?
The best thing to do is tell him that you miss kissing him, it may be difficult to say, but that's the only way he will know.
The best thing to do is tell him that you miss kissing him, it may be difficult to say, but that's the only way he will know.
Problems with my relationship, I need advice?
Ok me and my boyfriend have been together for a little over 3 years. We are very close and talking about marriage but I am a little confused. You see sometimes he gets really mad at me for things (like he thinks I get mad when he hangs out with his friends, but I don't care) anyways.... He has never hit me but he has yelled at me, cussed me out, hung up on me etc....I finally told him he has an anger problem and he cooled it down for a bit but today he did it again. The yelling, cussing and hanging up, after wards he will calm down and apologize. I am a very calm person and would NEVER treat him like this and if I did he would probably leave me. I love him very much. I don't want to leave him but I need advice on other options. Is this normal?Problems with my relationship, I need advice?
If he wants to marry you, I would suggest that he go to marriage counseling before walking down that aisle. If he isn't trying to do that pack your bags and leave. One day he might turn physical and you don't need or deserve that. Try and make it work equally or let him go.oily skin
If he wants to marry you, I would suggest that he go to marriage counseling before walking down that aisle. If he isn't trying to do that pack your bags and leave. One day he might turn physical and you don't need or deserve that. Try and make it work equally or let him go.
Long distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
my situation:i live in england and for just over a year i have been speaking to a girl in america. we liked each other for ages and used to say ';i love u'; not meanin it to a huge extent altho we did rly like each other... ne way.. she got a bf over there... i found a girl i like nd we saw each other... then a week ago the girl in america sed ';i love u'; out of the blue and tht she thinks of me wenever she wiv her bf nd tht shes gonna break up with him... nd i just cried.. i hav no idea why i just did.. i then told the girl i had kinda been seein i needed a week to think about sum stuff.. then last nite i told her about this girl in america... nd u can guess her reaction.. upset angry and not sure if she can trust me altho i never intended on this bcoz i do rly like her... just my feelins for the girl in america r just different.. i rly do think i love her.. if i dnt choose the girl here she wil not tlk to me nd wil hate me.. but i stil cnt b wiv the girl in america.. but if i choose the girl here the girl in america will not wanna keep contact.... please help and reply soon! thanksLong distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
dont believe anyone that says long distance relationships NEVER work out because they do. however, if you are having doubts about it, then it might not be the right choice. it hurts to have to let someone go, but it may be worth it in the end because it could end up hurting you worse than it would have to break it off initially. i say try to stay with girls within your own country unless you can truly see yourself in a future with this american girl. it is possible but it takes a lot of committment and sacrifice, much more than would be required for your typical short distance relationship. it all depends on your level of maturity and whether or not you believe that there is a good chance of staying with this girl. you need to ask her about it too though. talk to her about it, whether or not she would be willing to let go of all the things typical of a normal relationship. you wont have a normal relationship like everyone else. you wont ever get to see each other, your fights will be over who gets to come see who and how often and there may be trust problems. you have to have lots of trust in your partner to be in a long distance relationship, and i dont know if you are ready for that since you sound so hesitant and you cant even choose who you would rather be with anyway. just know that it is a big sacrifice and it would be a much easier route for both you and the american girl in the long run for you to stay with the girl in england. im not saying it isnt possible though. Long distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
Hold up.. dont go any further plz, i live in america and i dated someone from england for almost a year and i found out he was cheating on me.. i would not recomment long distance relationships, they never work out, trust me.
long distant relationship doesn't last long
breaking relationship is not easy always for everyone
however, it just a moment ,
dont believe anyone that says long distance relationships NEVER work out because they do. however, if you are having doubts about it, then it might not be the right choice. it hurts to have to let someone go, but it may be worth it in the end because it could end up hurting you worse than it would have to break it off initially. i say try to stay with girls within your own country unless you can truly see yourself in a future with this american girl. it is possible but it takes a lot of committment and sacrifice, much more than would be required for your typical short distance relationship. it all depends on your level of maturity and whether or not you believe that there is a good chance of staying with this girl. you need to ask her about it too though. talk to her about it, whether or not she would be willing to let go of all the things typical of a normal relationship. you wont have a normal relationship like everyone else. you wont ever get to see each other, your fights will be over who gets to come see who and how often and there may be trust problems. you have to have lots of trust in your partner to be in a long distance relationship, and i dont know if you are ready for that since you sound so hesitant and you cant even choose who you would rather be with anyway. just know that it is a big sacrifice and it would be a much easier route for both you and the american girl in the long run for you to stay with the girl in england. im not saying it isnt possible though. Long distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
Hold up.. dont go any further plz, i live in america and i dated someone from england for almost a year and i found out he was cheating on me.. i would not recomment long distance relationships, they never work out, trust me.
long distant relationship doesn't last long
breaking relationship is not easy always for everyone
however, it just a moment ,
Long distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
my situation:i live in england and for just over a year i have been speaking to a girl in america. we liked each other for ages and used to say ';i love u'; not meanin it to a huge extent altho we did rly like each other... ne way.. she got a bf over there... i found a girl i like nd we saw each other... then a week ago the girl in america sed ';i love u'; out of the blue and tht she thinks of me wenever she wiv her bf nd tht shes gonna break up with him... nd i just cried.. i hav no idea why i just did.. i then told the girl i had kinda been seein i needed a week to think about sum stuff.. then last nite i told her about this girl in america... nd u can guess her reaction.. upset angry and not sure if she can trust me altho i never intended on this bcoz i do rly like her... just my feelins for the girl in america r just different.. i rly do think i love her.. if i dnt choose the girl here she wil not tlk to me nd wil hate me.. but i stil cnt b wiv the girl in america.. but if i choose the girl here the girl in america will not wanna keep contact.... please help and reply soon! thanksLong distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
dont believe anyone that says long distance relationships NEVER work out because they do. however, if you are having doubts about it, then it might not be the right choice. it hurts to have to let someone go, but it may be worth it in the end because it could end up hurting you worse than it would have to break it off initially. i say try to stay with girls within your own country unless you can truly see yourself in a future with this american girl. it is possible but it takes a lot of committment and sacrifice, much more than would be required for your typical short distance relationship. it all depends on your level of maturity and whether or not you believe that there is a good chance of staying with this girl. you need to ask her about it too though. talk to her about it, whether or not she would be willing to let go of all the things typical of a normal relationship. you wont have a normal relationship like everyone else. you wont ever get to see each other, your fights will be over who gets to come see who and how often and there may be trust problems. you have to have lots of trust in your partner to be in a long distance relationship, and i dont know if you are ready for that since you sound so hesitant and you cant even choose who you would rather be with anyway. just know that it is a big sacrifice and it would be a much easier route for both you and the american girl in the long run for you to stay with the girl in england. im not saying it isnt possible though. Long distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
Hold up.. dont go any further plz, i live in america and i dated someone from england for almost a year and i found out he was cheating on me.. i would not recomment long distance relationships, they never work out, trust me.
long distant relationship doesn't last long
breaking relationship is not easy always for everyone
however, it just a moment ,
dont believe anyone that says long distance relationships NEVER work out because they do. however, if you are having doubts about it, then it might not be the right choice. it hurts to have to let someone go, but it may be worth it in the end because it could end up hurting you worse than it would have to break it off initially. i say try to stay with girls within your own country unless you can truly see yourself in a future with this american girl. it is possible but it takes a lot of committment and sacrifice, much more than would be required for your typical short distance relationship. it all depends on your level of maturity and whether or not you believe that there is a good chance of staying with this girl. you need to ask her about it too though. talk to her about it, whether or not she would be willing to let go of all the things typical of a normal relationship. you wont have a normal relationship like everyone else. you wont ever get to see each other, your fights will be over who gets to come see who and how often and there may be trust problems. you have to have lots of trust in your partner to be in a long distance relationship, and i dont know if you are ready for that since you sound so hesitant and you cant even choose who you would rather be with anyway. just know that it is a big sacrifice and it would be a much easier route for both you and the american girl in the long run for you to stay with the girl in england. im not saying it isnt possible though. Long distant relationship... rly need advice.HELP!!!?
Hold up.. dont go any further plz, i live in america and i dated someone from england for almost a year and i found out he was cheating on me.. i would not recomment long distance relationships, they never work out, trust me.
long distant relationship doesn't last long
breaking relationship is not easy always for everyone
however, it just a moment ,
A serious relationship question. Any advice?
I am totally confused here. I wear my heart on my sleeve and also suffer from panic disorder. Anyway, I met a girl in April and we chatted a lot on the phone and online. I asked her out on a date but she declined saying that she's having a tough time in her life right now with work and a friend in an accident. As the weeks went by I still asked her out over and over but she politely declined. I gave up and thought it's just a friendship. Then I met another girl. She was really nice and I got the impression really sincere. Then one day she told me she had 20 previous partners. It's not THAT much but more than I'm used to she's 31. It threw me off but continued to see her. Then the first girl comes back and I told her I moved on. Then she agrees to see me. We went out for coffee but I didn't do anything out of respect. Anyway, I am having doubts sometimes about both girls. Last night the first one cried and said she made a mistake and wants to be with me.A serious relationship question. Any advice?
I know about panicking and all, but please you should really not take the world so serious,that it makes you get to that. You need to take time away, and you will figure it out. Don't worry truly be happy... :)A serious relationship question. Any advice?
If they already make your life miserable get over both of them-and find out if the one chick used rubbers while having sex if not dump her as s real fast
I think you need to lighten up a bit.....this is NO BIG DEAL. First, you don't have to commit to either one of them right away, you can even date another one on top of it all. Second...when a person is right for you, you know it..you may not know it right away, that is why it is good to take your time. Really man, no big deals here, you are just experiencing life....don't let anyone in to your head until you know them really well....I say have fun....just roll with it.
It sounds like both of these girls have issues. It also seems to me that the only reason why girl #1 even met with you is because you moved on to someone else.
I say dump both and get a new person.
Who advertises their partners like that anyway?
'; I wear my heart on my sleeve '; + '; She was really nice and I got the impression really sincere. Then one day she told me she had 20 previous partners '; seem's she wears her heart in the same place, hey i'm an x rock musician and had my share of girls, before i met my wife, the past is the past . . . this equasion is, 1 heart on the sleeve and one sincere and nice person, = 2 honest and
trustwothy people, what are you waiting for? you don't wanna do what first one did and then the 31 year old
decides to move on and finds another respectful you . . .
Flip a coin! We don't know! What if the one we pick turns out to be a bad pick, will you be mad at us for picking or yourself for asking?
Dude, you need to find a girl/woman with similar past as you.
Look for a woman with similiar intrests, hobbies, food tastes. If you do not, you will be tormented when she talks of other boyfriends/lovers. If you find a picture with old BF,or when she sees one when you are together. You will feel like you can not measure up.
All 3 of you have issues! you should stop seeing each other at once before I call the asylum. First off, no lady no matter how whorish or innocent should reveal the number of men shes been with....and my prediction is that you will always judge her based on that becasue thats what men do. Men want to or feel to atleast know that the woman they are with are innocent. Drop the 31 year old NOW and give the other train wreck a chance. Worst case scenerio is that you'll be back on the computer looking for another crazy chick.
Hi Liam, The first girl, give her another chance. Plain and simple, she just wants to take things slow. The second one (31 years old) tell her to take a hike. If she said she has had only 20 lovers, it probably is more true that she had 40 or 60. Good Luck sweetie! You sound like a great guy to me!!
i say move on from both, obviously 20 people was a lot to you or you wouldnt have had that reaction and the first girl only sounds like she wants you cus you are taken and its a challenge. its a mind game and you dont need that. remain friends with them if you want but i suggest you end it and move on to someone deserving.
I know about panicking and all, but please you should really not take the world so serious,that it makes you get to that. You need to take time away, and you will figure it out. Don't worry truly be happy... :)A serious relationship question. Any advice?
If they already make your life miserable get over both of them-and find out if the one chick used rubbers while having sex if not dump her as s real fast
I think you need to lighten up a bit.....this is NO BIG DEAL. First, you don't have to commit to either one of them right away, you can even date another one on top of it all. Second...when a person is right for you, you know it..you may not know it right away, that is why it is good to take your time. Really man, no big deals here, you are just experiencing life....don't let anyone in to your head until you know them really well....I say have fun....just roll with it.
It sounds like both of these girls have issues. It also seems to me that the only reason why girl #1 even met with you is because you moved on to someone else.
I say dump both and get a new person.
Who advertises their partners like that anyway?
'; I wear my heart on my sleeve '; + '; She was really nice and I got the impression really sincere. Then one day she told me she had 20 previous partners '; seem's she wears her heart in the same place, hey i'm an x rock musician and had my share of girls, before i met my wife, the past is the past . . . this equasion is, 1 heart on the sleeve and one sincere and nice person, = 2 honest and
trustwothy people, what are you waiting for? you don't wanna do what first one did and then the 31 year old
decides to move on and finds another respectful you . . .
Flip a coin! We don't know! What if the one we pick turns out to be a bad pick, will you be mad at us for picking or yourself for asking?
Dude, you need to find a girl/woman with similar past as you.
Look for a woman with similiar intrests, hobbies, food tastes. If you do not, you will be tormented when she talks of other boyfriends/lovers. If you find a picture with old BF,or when she sees one when you are together. You will feel like you can not measure up.
All 3 of you have issues! you should stop seeing each other at once before I call the asylum. First off, no lady no matter how whorish or innocent should reveal the number of men shes been with....and my prediction is that you will always judge her based on that becasue thats what men do. Men want to or feel to atleast know that the woman they are with are innocent. Drop the 31 year old NOW and give the other train wreck a chance. Worst case scenerio is that you'll be back on the computer looking for another crazy chick.
Hi Liam, The first girl, give her another chance. Plain and simple, she just wants to take things slow. The second one (31 years old) tell her to take a hike. If she said she has had only 20 lovers, it probably is more true that she had 40 or 60. Good Luck sweetie! You sound like a great guy to me!!
i say move on from both, obviously 20 people was a lot to you or you wouldnt have had that reaction and the first girl only sounds like she wants you cus you are taken and its a challenge. its a mind game and you dont need that. remain friends with them if you want but i suggest you end it and move on to someone deserving.
Need advice/opinion regarding relationship matter.?
In a relationship over a year. Just recently found out he is still active on Match.com. No formal commitment, but see him generally every day. Should I be concerned or just ignore?Need advice/opinion regarding relationship matter.?
well if he's not into you go away n hav a lifeNeed advice/opinion regarding relationship matter.?
I would really need a definition of ';no formal commitment';. Do you mean you are not boyfriend and girlfriend? Or not engaged or anything? Big difference here.
Men will look... Really there are no two ways about it. Many men, even while in a relationship still shop for the next best thing. It depends on what he is looking for. You say no formal commitment and I immediately think of friends with benefits. In that case, he has every right to continue shopping while he eats your groceries.
If he is your boyfriend, and he sees things that way as well, then you probably should ask him about this. If you have been together for a year there should be some good communication between the two of you, so talk about it.
What do you mean by ';no formal commitment'; but yet yall have been in a relationship for over a year?
Sometimes you gotta speak a language a man can understand. If it was me I would get an account on there and view his profile so he knows you're on there. I guarantee he will be the one to bring it up once he knows you're on there too. If he gets ticked about it then say well maybe we both should delete our accounts. I would NOT be more emotionally invested in a relationship than they are.
If he's not your boyfriend then that means both of you are free to see other people.
I suggest you talk to him. Ask him if he conciders you to be his boyfriend. If he says yes, ask him about the site. Don't bug him about it, though. Just bring it up. If he seems nervous, you should be worried, but if he responds calmly that it's nothing or he forgot about having been on it, don't be worried.
well if he's not into you go away n hav a lifeNeed advice/opinion regarding relationship matter.?
I would really need a definition of ';no formal commitment';. Do you mean you are not boyfriend and girlfriend? Or not engaged or anything? Big difference here.
Men will look... Really there are no two ways about it. Many men, even while in a relationship still shop for the next best thing. It depends on what he is looking for. You say no formal commitment and I immediately think of friends with benefits. In that case, he has every right to continue shopping while he eats your groceries.
If he is your boyfriend, and he sees things that way as well, then you probably should ask him about this. If you have been together for a year there should be some good communication between the two of you, so talk about it.
What do you mean by ';no formal commitment'; but yet yall have been in a relationship for over a year?
Sometimes you gotta speak a language a man can understand. If it was me I would get an account on there and view his profile so he knows you're on there. I guarantee he will be the one to bring it up once he knows you're on there too. If he gets ticked about it then say well maybe we both should delete our accounts. I would NOT be more emotionally invested in a relationship than they are.
If he's not your boyfriend then that means both of you are free to see other people.
I suggest you talk to him. Ask him if he conciders you to be his boyfriend. If he says yes, ask him about the site. Don't bug him about it, though. Just bring it up. If he seems nervous, you should be worried, but if he responds calmly that it's nothing or he forgot about having been on it, don't be worried.
Need some relationship/marriage SERIOUS advice...please :)?
I have been in a relationship with my husband for 6 years married 3. We have had some serious ups and downs, the downs were pretty bad. He has made effort to make things better but I really just don't feel like it is enough, or am I wanting too much at once? I have a step ahead of him in several aspects and find myself trying to help him a lot wondering if I am allowing him to be ';the man.'; He says he wants to do things himself then gets angry when there is a ';lack of support.'; We live apart right now due to financial reasons. I worry with him being back around all the stuff we try to get away from. Including this girl he had a relations with DURING our relationship. She is constantly trying to get us split up to have a better chance at a relationship with him. So I receive emails and calls and txts that he is cheating and he swears she is just trying to start stuff. Some of the things she says have seem legitimate, but she also is friends with his sister(who I don't have such a great relationship) and I don't know if she is in the middle of ';it'; or not. Plus I know this girl is desperate to have him that she would do and put up with whatever to have him(cheating,giving up money). I don't know if I'm being insecure and immature? Am I pushing him away? I can't leave it alone and I feel like my life is falling apart. I don;t know what to do : (Need some relationship/marriage SERIOUS advice...please :)?
If you want this relationship to work either go to him or tell him to come to you, not in a month but in 48 hours, period. Obviously there is no big paycheck at risk for either one of you.
Either you are both committed to making it work or you are not. The rest is just BS Drama.Need some relationship/marriage SERIOUS advice...please :)?
I think you should move on I don't understand why the two of you aren't living together.If he has cheated on you in the past with this girl %26amp; she is around your husband which should be unacceptable (by the way) . He should respect you %26amp; your marriage instead of being around her.You are not being immature at all.
get a restraining order against him and i don't understand why you would live apart for financial reasons when it is cheaper to live together
Sounds like you have yourself a keeper (sarcasm).
Way too confusing to submit an answer to this one. Geez!
Let me guess. You're probably sitting there all stressed out and worried and thinking about whether your marriage will work out. Believe me, you are not alone. There are so many couples out there from all over the world that are right now in the midst of trying to save their marriages. Our marriages consist of so much of our time and emotions, and the relationship between our spouses is central to so many other relationships of family and friends in our lives. So without a doubt this can be a very nerve wracking experience. My heart goes out to you if this is what you're experiencing right now.
I found this site to be very helpful:
I would confront the girl. Maybe find out where she works and confront her there where you should tell her to leave your husband alone. This should embaress her along with getting her reputation ruined at work. you could also put out an ad on Kijjiji for her stating that she lieks to break up marriages or even have an ad placed for her there to meet other people. don't let her know you did it.
I would also get rid of your husband and find another guy. Get your self esteem back up. YOu don't deserve this. You may not be strong right now but I hope you decide to remove yourself from this relationship and find a guy who won't cheat on you. I think you are confused because you do love but how much does he love you???
Can you please help me with my question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Speaking from experience%26gt;%26gt;if your husband is putting hisself back in the midst of the things you both agreed to get away from along with being around a woman that he cheated on you with then I would just let go! I was married 15yrs and for 7 of those I watched my husband get pissed off--usually over absolutely nothing--and leave for anywhere from a week to 8 weeks to go ';shack '; up this same freakin b---h. He did that 5 times before I finally came out of my coma and said ENOUGH!! Of course this chick is right in the middle--her goal is to get him away from you. The sad thing about women like this is they can't find anyone of their own to love so they settle for ';sharing';--taking scraps from another woman. If this is the type of people your husband wants to surround hisself with then I think you'd do better to walk away and leave him to it! It may feel like your life is falling apart right now but believe me---it will only get better once you leave that baggage behind. Good luck!! Remember%26gt;%26gt; Believe in yourself so others can!
If your still love the guy, and would like to give him another (and last chance), then do it, and don't mind what other people might say. Amidst all the hardships, if you pull this last chance through, you'll be the victor in the end. If, by any means, it did not succeed, at the end you could console yourself that you still tried to fix things up.
For me, it is better to love and be hurt, than not to love at all.
I don't want to live my life with so many unanswered 'IFs' on my head.oily skin
If you want this relationship to work either go to him or tell him to come to you, not in a month but in 48 hours, period. Obviously there is no big paycheck at risk for either one of you.
Either you are both committed to making it work or you are not. The rest is just BS Drama.Need some relationship/marriage SERIOUS advice...please :)?
I think you should move on I don't understand why the two of you aren't living together.If he has cheated on you in the past with this girl %26amp; she is around your husband which should be unacceptable (by the way) . He should respect you %26amp; your marriage instead of being around her.You are not being immature at all.
get a restraining order against him and i don't understand why you would live apart for financial reasons when it is cheaper to live together
Sounds like you have yourself a keeper (sarcasm).
Way too confusing to submit an answer to this one. Geez!
Let me guess. You're probably sitting there all stressed out and worried and thinking about whether your marriage will work out. Believe me, you are not alone. There are so many couples out there from all over the world that are right now in the midst of trying to save their marriages. Our marriages consist of so much of our time and emotions, and the relationship between our spouses is central to so many other relationships of family and friends in our lives. So without a doubt this can be a very nerve wracking experience. My heart goes out to you if this is what you're experiencing right now.
I found this site to be very helpful:
I would confront the girl. Maybe find out where she works and confront her there where you should tell her to leave your husband alone. This should embaress her along with getting her reputation ruined at work. you could also put out an ad on Kijjiji for her stating that she lieks to break up marriages or even have an ad placed for her there to meet other people. don't let her know you did it.
I would also get rid of your husband and find another guy. Get your self esteem back up. YOu don't deserve this. You may not be strong right now but I hope you decide to remove yourself from this relationship and find a guy who won't cheat on you. I think you are confused because you do love but how much does he love you???
Can you please help me with my question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>
Speaking from experience%26gt;%26gt;if your husband is putting hisself back in the midst of the things you both agreed to get away from along with being around a woman that he cheated on you with then I would just let go! I was married 15yrs and for 7 of those I watched my husband get pissed off--usually over absolutely nothing--and leave for anywhere from a week to 8 weeks to go ';shack '; up this same freakin b---h. He did that 5 times before I finally came out of my coma and said ENOUGH!! Of course this chick is right in the middle--her goal is to get him away from you. The sad thing about women like this is they can't find anyone of their own to love so they settle for ';sharing';--taking scraps from another woman. If this is the type of people your husband wants to surround hisself with then I think you'd do better to walk away and leave him to it! It may feel like your life is falling apart right now but believe me---it will only get better once you leave that baggage behind. Good luck!! Remember%26gt;%26gt; Believe in yourself so others can!
If your still love the guy, and would like to give him another (and last chance), then do it, and don't mind what other people might say. Amidst all the hardships, if you pull this last chance through, you'll be the victor in the end. If, by any means, it did not succeed, at the end you could console yourself that you still tried to fix things up.
For me, it is better to love and be hurt, than not to love at all.
I don't want to live my life with so many unanswered 'IFs' on my head.
Stress affecting relationship? Please somebody, advice!!?
My partner is severely stressed. He owns his won business and has to bring in a huge amount of money to pay for the house, and his hoiday homes abroad. The problem is, the business is going downhill and he has insomnia, does 12 hour days, is absolutely shattered. Doctors only offer tablets and councilling, no good.
He has a very fast heart beat, breaks out in sweats, breathing difficulties, anxiety, I know if he carries on like this he will have a heart attack. Plus he has 4 children so thats a continuous worry!
He won't talk, I've tried sitting down explaining to him, helping him, nothing works, the worry won't go away.
Does anyone know any websites that explain what stress does to the brain and the technical stuff?! Maybe I can get some help from there.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.Stress affecting relationship? Please somebody, advice!!?
I really sympathise with you,I too sufferd from insomnia ,Luckily it went away by itself.Have you suggested to your partner that you both join a local sports centre,I realise you said he had a fast heartbeat so try going for a relaxing sauna/steam room.Also have you considered downsizing your property as a nice big house means nothing without your health to enjoy it with.Stress affecting relationship? Please somebody, advice!!?
';Just ask your husband to take some time to think about what are the most precious things in his life.'; Thanks!!! I have the same problem and this frase of your advice really help me.
I need let my business go........... Report Abuse
The only advice I could give this man is to sell some of the properties abroad. Cut back on what is not needed.
He needs to learn to delegate some of his work. If he can't then he will have to sell his business, because it isn't worth losing his life over.
I wish I could find something my husband brought home. It was about a guy that was working to live, not living to work. (or something like that). It made my husband think.
The man had a heart attack and took a long hard look at his life. He sold everything and now lives a very happy life without stress.
Just ask your husband to take some time to think about what are the most precious things in his life.
Maybe a life coach will be able to help him. I think that's what their called.
Good luck and I'm sorry I can't ease his burdens and your worry.
first things first try and keep him on a healthy died to keep him active and ready for what the day holds in store secondly search the web it a big place you will be able to FIND SOME HELP!
Stress can arise for a variety of reasons. Any change in our lives can be stressful. In dealing with stress, the lifestyle needs a complete overhaul. We should be placed on an optimum diet, and take regular exercise and adequate rest. Check out http://sumiram2006-stressfree.blogspot.c鈥?/a> for more info.
He has a very fast heart beat, breaks out in sweats, breathing difficulties, anxiety, I know if he carries on like this he will have a heart attack. Plus he has 4 children so thats a continuous worry!
He won't talk, I've tried sitting down explaining to him, helping him, nothing works, the worry won't go away.
Does anyone know any websites that explain what stress does to the brain and the technical stuff?! Maybe I can get some help from there.
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this.Stress affecting relationship? Please somebody, advice!!?
I really sympathise with you,I too sufferd from insomnia ,Luckily it went away by itself.Have you suggested to your partner that you both join a local sports centre,I realise you said he had a fast heartbeat so try going for a relaxing sauna/steam room.Also have you considered downsizing your property as a nice big house means nothing without your health to enjoy it with.Stress affecting relationship? Please somebody, advice!!?
';Just ask your husband to take some time to think about what are the most precious things in his life.'; Thanks!!! I have the same problem and this frase of your advice really help me.
I need let my business go........... Report Abuse
The only advice I could give this man is to sell some of the properties abroad. Cut back on what is not needed.
He needs to learn to delegate some of his work. If he can't then he will have to sell his business, because it isn't worth losing his life over.
I wish I could find something my husband brought home. It was about a guy that was working to live, not living to work. (or something like that). It made my husband think.
The man had a heart attack and took a long hard look at his life. He sold everything and now lives a very happy life without stress.
Just ask your husband to take some time to think about what are the most precious things in his life.
Maybe a life coach will be able to help him. I think that's what their called.
Good luck and I'm sorry I can't ease his burdens and your worry.
first things first try and keep him on a healthy died to keep him active and ready for what the day holds in store secondly search the web it a big place you will be able to FIND SOME HELP!
Stress can arise for a variety of reasons. Any change in our lives can be stressful. In dealing with stress, the lifestyle needs a complete overhaul. We should be placed on an optimum diet, and take regular exercise and adequate rest. Check out http://sumiram2006-stressfree.blogspot.c鈥?/a> for more info.
Help with Relationship: I Need Advice with sharing Household Expenses with Live-In Girlfriend?
Hello everyone,
I need a little help with my relationship. My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement over household expenses.
Here is the situation:
She moved in with me in October. We have been together for 13 months. We love each other very much, and we want to be married to each other. We are good Christians. When she moved in, I gave up my master bathroom, and large walk-in closet to her. I don't mind it.
She makes about $70,000 a year before taxes. I make about $80,000 before taxes. We do not live lavish lifestyles, and spend conservatively. I own a small business that is not going well right now. I have a tough time making the household bills every month. The economy is not kind to me right now. She has a very stable job as a healthcare professional. She knows I am struggling with my company. If I have to fold the company, it will be disastrous for me. I'll probably lose everything.
For the first 7 months, we commuted back and forth between each other's places, about 20 minutes apart. She ';rented'; a place from her mom, inasmuch as she paid the utilities, and about $500 rent every month. Moving in with me has created about $200 a month commuting expenses for her, in bridge tolls and gas for her car.
We agreed she would start helping with Household Expenses in December. Her mother is going through a divorce settlement right now, so once that is settled, my GF can start helping out with Household Expenses. The problem is that December turned into January, then February, and now March. In October, her mother moved back into the home by GF was ';renting';.
In my home, the household expenses are about $2850 per month: Mortgage: $2200, HomeOwner's Insurance: $100, Condo Association Fees: $150, Electric/Gas: $190, Water: $40, Cable/Phone/Internet: $165.
Our food bills are about $400-500 per month. She has paid for the groceries most of the time, which is about $150-200 each trip to the grocery store. I'd say she's paid for groceries 2/3rds of the time.
She paid me $200 in February to help out with the bills. So far, that's all she has contributed, outside of paying for food as I mentioned above.
I talked to her about it last night, and it didn't go well. I showed her a list of the expenses, which she is already aware of. She thought I was being condescending, and making her feel like a freeloader. Those were not my intentions at all.
We NEVER argue about ANYTHING. This was the first time I ever made her cry, and I feel bad about it, especially since I didn't intend to upset her.
I asked her if she could pay between $500-800 a month for expenses, and she was shocked. I was so disappointed by her reaction, borderline shocked. I said that even if she paid $600 per month, that's not even 25% of the household expenses. $400 a month is about 15% of the household expenses. She really did not like that. I said I don't know how to spin those numbers any differently - they are what they are.
We would like to be engaged sometime in the next 12-18 months, but right now I have no prayer of being able to afford an engagement ring in that timeframe.
She is able to save at least $1,000 per month in her savings. Meanwhile, I am really struggling to make the household expenses.
Can anyone give me a little bit of advice? How much should she contribute per month?Help with Relationship: I Need Advice with sharing Household Expenses with Live-In Girlfriend?
I think you are being perfectly reasonable in what you are asking her to do. Did she give you a reason why she couldn't help out? I would think that if you are getting married you would share the expenses anyway.
Are you sticking her with most of the housework? She may feel that if she's being treated like a housewife you should support her like one. There has to be a reason she's so upset.
I think you two need to talk again. You two may have been moving too fast. You really need to work all of this out or it's just going to become a huge mess.Help with Relationship: I Need Advice with sharing Household Expenses with Live-In Girlfriend?
maybe you should try approaching it a different way. Instead of telling her that you want her to contribute (which she is taking to mean she doesn't contribute at all and you don't appreciate her), you should sit her down and ask her for help. Tell her that you're having a hard time paying the bills and you need her help. If you do plan to get married then why not consider opening a joint bank account? This way it's not you paying 80% and her paying 20%...the money would come out of a mutual fund. I can certainly understand where you are coming from. She is hording her money while you are not able to put any away. The way i see it, if you're getting married what is yours is hers, and whats hers is yours. so even if she is putting money away once you get married it will be BOTH of your money. Just explain to her you are having a difficult time making the bills and ask her if she has any ideas for a solution. Maybe if you leave it up to her to remedy the situation she will decide to contribute to the bills on her own, which would prob make her feel better bc it's not like you are forcing her to.
good luck %26amp; hope everything works out.
There are different ways to share household expenses. You said you're planning to get married next year. Normally married people don't separate their finances. So your money is her money and her money is your money. If you are going to get married you might as well start doing it this way already. Or are you planning on keeping your finances apart even after you get married? I'd find that strange.
When I was living with my bf we also had roughly the same income. We used his income for rent, food, bills, etc... and my money went straight to the savings account and when we needed a tv, fridge, furniture, holiday, etc we would use this money. My money was his money and his money was my money. We never had any problems.
I'm sure there are other ways of doing it, but this is how we did it.
Somehow, I don't think your girlfriend thinks going dutch is quite proper. Tell her if she can't come up with some of the dosh you will have to get a roomate who will.
How much exactly do you both make after takes?
I really don't understand where all of the money is going if you guys make over 100k a year after taxes. If you pay 3500 in expenses monthly it should be about
42000. You need to explain to her that you've held up your end more than necessary and if the relationship is ever going to work, you both need to be in it. She is not a child therfor you don't need to support her.
Also if she is really excited about the marriage perhaps suggest it might not happen if you both can't work together which is true. Suggest a joint bank account where both your pays can be put into and both can take out money form it when needed.
I hate to say it if this doesn't work perhaps you should rethink your relationship because the maturity and the responsibility isn't there.
I need a little help with my relationship. My girlfriend and I are having a disagreement over household expenses.
Here is the situation:
She moved in with me in October. We have been together for 13 months. We love each other very much, and we want to be married to each other. We are good Christians. When she moved in, I gave up my master bathroom, and large walk-in closet to her. I don't mind it.
She makes about $70,000 a year before taxes. I make about $80,000 before taxes. We do not live lavish lifestyles, and spend conservatively. I own a small business that is not going well right now. I have a tough time making the household bills every month. The economy is not kind to me right now. She has a very stable job as a healthcare professional. She knows I am struggling with my company. If I have to fold the company, it will be disastrous for me. I'll probably lose everything.
For the first 7 months, we commuted back and forth between each other's places, about 20 minutes apart. She ';rented'; a place from her mom, inasmuch as she paid the utilities, and about $500 rent every month. Moving in with me has created about $200 a month commuting expenses for her, in bridge tolls and gas for her car.
We agreed she would start helping with Household Expenses in December. Her mother is going through a divorce settlement right now, so once that is settled, my GF can start helping out with Household Expenses. The problem is that December turned into January, then February, and now March. In October, her mother moved back into the home by GF was ';renting';.
In my home, the household expenses are about $2850 per month: Mortgage: $2200, HomeOwner's Insurance: $100, Condo Association Fees: $150, Electric/Gas: $190, Water: $40, Cable/Phone/Internet: $165.
Our food bills are about $400-500 per month. She has paid for the groceries most of the time, which is about $150-200 each trip to the grocery store. I'd say she's paid for groceries 2/3rds of the time.
She paid me $200 in February to help out with the bills. So far, that's all she has contributed, outside of paying for food as I mentioned above.
I talked to her about it last night, and it didn't go well. I showed her a list of the expenses, which she is already aware of. She thought I was being condescending, and making her feel like a freeloader. Those were not my intentions at all.
We NEVER argue about ANYTHING. This was the first time I ever made her cry, and I feel bad about it, especially since I didn't intend to upset her.
I asked her if she could pay between $500-800 a month for expenses, and she was shocked. I was so disappointed by her reaction, borderline shocked. I said that even if she paid $600 per month, that's not even 25% of the household expenses. $400 a month is about 15% of the household expenses. She really did not like that. I said I don't know how to spin those numbers any differently - they are what they are.
We would like to be engaged sometime in the next 12-18 months, but right now I have no prayer of being able to afford an engagement ring in that timeframe.
She is able to save at least $1,000 per month in her savings. Meanwhile, I am really struggling to make the household expenses.
Can anyone give me a little bit of advice? How much should she contribute per month?Help with Relationship: I Need Advice with sharing Household Expenses with Live-In Girlfriend?
I think you are being perfectly reasonable in what you are asking her to do. Did she give you a reason why she couldn't help out? I would think that if you are getting married you would share the expenses anyway.
Are you sticking her with most of the housework? She may feel that if she's being treated like a housewife you should support her like one. There has to be a reason she's so upset.
I think you two need to talk again. You two may have been moving too fast. You really need to work all of this out or it's just going to become a huge mess.Help with Relationship: I Need Advice with sharing Household Expenses with Live-In Girlfriend?
maybe you should try approaching it a different way. Instead of telling her that you want her to contribute (which she is taking to mean she doesn't contribute at all and you don't appreciate her), you should sit her down and ask her for help. Tell her that you're having a hard time paying the bills and you need her help. If you do plan to get married then why not consider opening a joint bank account? This way it's not you paying 80% and her paying 20%...the money would come out of a mutual fund. I can certainly understand where you are coming from. She is hording her money while you are not able to put any away. The way i see it, if you're getting married what is yours is hers, and whats hers is yours. so even if she is putting money away once you get married it will be BOTH of your money. Just explain to her you are having a difficult time making the bills and ask her if she has any ideas for a solution. Maybe if you leave it up to her to remedy the situation she will decide to contribute to the bills on her own, which would prob make her feel better bc it's not like you are forcing her to.
good luck %26amp; hope everything works out.
There are different ways to share household expenses. You said you're planning to get married next year. Normally married people don't separate their finances. So your money is her money and her money is your money. If you are going to get married you might as well start doing it this way already. Or are you planning on keeping your finances apart even after you get married? I'd find that strange.
When I was living with my bf we also had roughly the same income. We used his income for rent, food, bills, etc... and my money went straight to the savings account and when we needed a tv, fridge, furniture, holiday, etc we would use this money. My money was his money and his money was my money. We never had any problems.
I'm sure there are other ways of doing it, but this is how we did it.
Somehow, I don't think your girlfriend thinks going dutch is quite proper. Tell her if she can't come up with some of the dosh you will have to get a roomate who will.
How much exactly do you both make after takes?
I really don't understand where all of the money is going if you guys make over 100k a year after taxes. If you pay 3500 in expenses monthly it should be about
42000. You need to explain to her that you've held up your end more than necessary and if the relationship is ever going to work, you both need to be in it. She is not a child therfor you don't need to support her.
Also if she is really excited about the marriage perhaps suggest it might not happen if you both can't work together which is true. Suggest a joint bank account where both your pays can be put into and both can take out money form it when needed.
I hate to say it if this doesn't work perhaps you should rethink your relationship because the maturity and the responsibility isn't there.
Is this relationship savable? serious advice please?
im 36 weeks pregnant with my first and im engaged to a man i love very much. a couple days ago i found out that he has a 2 yr old girl with someone that lives in another state. He owes back child support and he has lied to me about this. I found out by doing alot of snooping around when a family member of his told me about his other child. I know that if we got married his debt would become mine unless filing my taxes separate. Im about to have my baby and im devestated by all of this I dont know what to do, do i leave him and raise my baby by myself or do i accept his apologies and give him a second chance?
p.s. He and the two year old are back in contact now and he has plans to see her for the first time in two years so hes making an effort to be in this childs life....Is this relationship savable? serious advice please?
can you imagine him paying child support for 2 kids?and you being alone or do you want to be with him enough to suffer the finnancial burden of him having another child and also dealing with the child's mother now that the kid is in the picture.
it's about children now,not you or him.Is this relationship savable? serious advice please?
you don't have to marry the guy.
Or just have a signed agreement that says he has to pay all his previous debts on his own.
This is a tough situation. I am sorry to tell you that you made a wrong choice by choosing this man to father your child. If he has been a deadbeat dad, chances are he is going to be a deadbeat dad again. It is up to you to give him second chance or not, I know I wouldn't. I would take care of my child and sue him for child support. It is so sad when there is a baby involved. Have you heard of protection and safe sex?!
If you really love him, you don't need to leave, just accept his other child, and to love her as yours.
Make sure to file taxes separate then, and keep bank accounts separate too until all resolved. If you can forgive and forget then do it. Relationships take up and downs and blows to the heart sometimes. Don't we all wish we had a crystal ball and can see how guys were in the past and will be in the future.
It is savable but the real question is why a grown man would deny his own child one day you might in the same boat and that is the biggest concern
If you love him and still want to spend the rest of your life with him then you will both make it work.
DO NOT get married to this man until his financial problems are cleared up... Seriously... live with him, whatever but don't get married while he owes back support etc. And yeah, he hid that from you, that's bad.. What else might he ';forget'; to tell you?????
Future behavior can be predicted by past behavior. RUN!
Honey it happens all the time don't worry. you are better off filing your taxes separately anyways because you probably receive more at a single rate. I have been legally married for four years and have filed separately every year because my children aren't his and you never let your right hand know what your left is doing especially since he lied to you about a child who knows the marriage may not work than what. Plus he may try to keep more of the money for his self you know men can be selfish and money hungry even if you are his wif and half belongs to you they don't see it that way. what's yours is his and what his is his that's how they see.
It is savable if you are willing to forgive him and work with him to make a better life for the both of you.
Oh sure! When he goes out of state to see the kid he owes back child support to, there could be one of two outcomes:
He won't return, staying with the original woman to cancel the debt sos he won't go to jail....or else, he'll be arrested there for non payment of support and go to jail.
I'd seek a divorce lawyer's advice about this and make sure you do not marry him unless he pays up immediately and keeps up those payments, and also, if you marry and if she can legally go after your assets and salary, I'd NEVER marry him.
He sounds like he's a parasite, and that would make you an accessory to non payments. so be very very careful. Seek a divorce lawyer's advice, followed another divorce lawyer to confirm what the first says.
You man's not telling you is a most serious breach of trust, and he can't be trusted really...
Also, if you are broke, go to legal aid. In fact, as a non married woman, yon could be entailed to aid for your child like medicaid etc without marrying him, and you to could demand support from him and put liens on everthing he has.
Mistake you made was getting pregnant, of course before you married.
Check out all ramifications right now!
If he lied about that, then it'll be easier to lie about anything else. If you don't have love, trust, and honesty in your relationship...it's doomed.
p.s. He and the two year old are back in contact now and he has plans to see her for the first time in two years so hes making an effort to be in this childs life....Is this relationship savable? serious advice please?
can you imagine him paying child support for 2 kids?and you being alone or do you want to be with him enough to suffer the finnancial burden of him having another child and also dealing with the child's mother now that the kid is in the picture.
it's about children now,not you or him.Is this relationship savable? serious advice please?
you don't have to marry the guy.
Or just have a signed agreement that says he has to pay all his previous debts on his own.
This is a tough situation. I am sorry to tell you that you made a wrong choice by choosing this man to father your child. If he has been a deadbeat dad, chances are he is going to be a deadbeat dad again. It is up to you to give him second chance or not, I know I wouldn't. I would take care of my child and sue him for child support. It is so sad when there is a baby involved. Have you heard of protection and safe sex?!
If you really love him, you don't need to leave, just accept his other child, and to love her as yours.
Make sure to file taxes separate then, and keep bank accounts separate too until all resolved. If you can forgive and forget then do it. Relationships take up and downs and blows to the heart sometimes. Don't we all wish we had a crystal ball and can see how guys were in the past and will be in the future.
It is savable but the real question is why a grown man would deny his own child one day you might in the same boat and that is the biggest concern
If you love him and still want to spend the rest of your life with him then you will both make it work.
DO NOT get married to this man until his financial problems are cleared up... Seriously... live with him, whatever but don't get married while he owes back support etc. And yeah, he hid that from you, that's bad.. What else might he ';forget'; to tell you?????
Future behavior can be predicted by past behavior. RUN!
Honey it happens all the time don't worry. you are better off filing your taxes separately anyways because you probably receive more at a single rate. I have been legally married for four years and have filed separately every year because my children aren't his and you never let your right hand know what your left is doing especially since he lied to you about a child who knows the marriage may not work than what. Plus he may try to keep more of the money for his self you know men can be selfish and money hungry even if you are his wif and half belongs to you they don't see it that way. what's yours is his and what his is his that's how they see.
It is savable if you are willing to forgive him and work with him to make a better life for the both of you.
Oh sure! When he goes out of state to see the kid he owes back child support to, there could be one of two outcomes:
He won't return, staying with the original woman to cancel the debt sos he won't go to jail....or else, he'll be arrested there for non payment of support and go to jail.
I'd seek a divorce lawyer's advice about this and make sure you do not marry him unless he pays up immediately and keeps up those payments, and also, if you marry and if she can legally go after your assets and salary, I'd NEVER marry him.
He sounds like he's a parasite, and that would make you an accessory to non payments. so be very very careful. Seek a divorce lawyer's advice, followed another divorce lawyer to confirm what the first says.
You man's not telling you is a most serious breach of trust, and he can't be trusted really...
Also, if you are broke, go to legal aid. In fact, as a non married woman, yon could be entailed to aid for your child like medicaid etc without marrying him, and you to could demand support from him and put liens on everthing he has.
Mistake you made was getting pregnant, of course before you married.
Check out all ramifications right now!
If he lied about that, then it'll be easier to lie about anything else. If you don't have love, trust, and honesty in your relationship...it's doomed.
Long term relationship ended, need advice!?
So, Me and my Ex-Girlfriend broke up over 5 months ago, and i'm still not over her! I still think about her everyday. I lost a lot of friends because of her and now they are away at college, so its extra lonely and no one really to talk to. Me and her dated for almost 3 years and she was perfect for me, and now its all over, we don't see or talk to each other, and shes already moved on. I still get depressed all the time and can't get her out of my head! I think the reason why its so hard for me to get over her is because I finally had someone to do everything with, we did everything! together.. and I feel like I lost it all! Now I don't know what to do, and really need some advice.. I just feel really lonely..Long term relationship ended, need advice!?
be honest to yourself, learn from your mistakes, move on and don't blow it next time. there is nothing else to do
be honest to yourself, learn from your mistakes, move on and don't blow it next time. there is nothing else to do
Any help?? Relationship problems .... Any advice?
Im in a two month relationship with a very nice guy, But i think i may have rushed into it when i was left from my previous relationship in which he left me with a ten day old baby saying he never wanted the baby, and he hadnt felt anything for about a year.
This relationship im in now ive actually been proposed too which i have said yes too, so it did happen fast and he also now living with me. BUT now im feeling a bit unsure about it all, Hes a very insure man and puts me down alot when it comes to my ex seeing his son. I have got to the point where im friends with my ex and talk to him from time to time about OUR SON. but my bf goes mental!! Saying that hes made alot of sacrisfies for me, when he doesnt realise what it is ive done for him. ie introduced him to my son, let him live with me rent free, introduced him to my family, arguemnts from my ex about him being with my son so soon after the break. We broke up in feb. and its now august.
Bascially, how do i go about saying to him we need to slow down?? That i need help with the rent but i have tried before but it went over his head? He needs to slow down when it comes to saying things to me... IE he jumps down my throat when i stick up for my ex when his nan died and he was an half hour late picking up his son for the night...
Im very very stuck and i dont know what to do, PLUS my ex has made some moves onto me aswell which has confused me a hell of alot. As im still trying to put that 'friend' barrier up. Any advice would be very much thanked for. JessAny help?? Relationship problems .... Any advice?
1)tell ur ex you guys are over and he needs to accept that
2)tell ur boyfriend its only been a few months and you need time.
3)tell him you want to slow down. not only do you have ur own life to think about, u have ur suns.Any help?? Relationship problems .... Any advice?
get some time to think.
This relationship im in now ive actually been proposed too which i have said yes too, so it did happen fast and he also now living with me. BUT now im feeling a bit unsure about it all, Hes a very insure man and puts me down alot when it comes to my ex seeing his son. I have got to the point where im friends with my ex and talk to him from time to time about OUR SON. but my bf goes mental!! Saying that hes made alot of sacrisfies for me, when he doesnt realise what it is ive done for him. ie introduced him to my son, let him live with me rent free, introduced him to my family, arguemnts from my ex about him being with my son so soon after the break. We broke up in feb. and its now august.
Bascially, how do i go about saying to him we need to slow down?? That i need help with the rent but i have tried before but it went over his head? He needs to slow down when it comes to saying things to me... IE he jumps down my throat when i stick up for my ex when his nan died and he was an half hour late picking up his son for the night...
Im very very stuck and i dont know what to do, PLUS my ex has made some moves onto me aswell which has confused me a hell of alot. As im still trying to put that 'friend' barrier up. Any advice would be very much thanked for. JessAny help?? Relationship problems .... Any advice?
1)tell ur ex you guys are over and he needs to accept that
2)tell ur boyfriend its only been a few months and you need time.
3)tell him you want to slow down. not only do you have ur own life to think about, u have ur suns.Any help?? Relationship problems .... Any advice?
get some time to think.
Need advice concerning a relationship that never happened?
While I was in college I met a wonderful man. He's 20 years older than myself. At the time I was in a long-term relationship (and still am), so I never went past the casual conversation on the street. He took over my thoughts, everything. My boyfriend eventually realized what was going on, and so I stopped talking to him (the other man) altogether. I could tell that he felt something for me as well but he didn't know what to do as I. I graduated from college and left the state, but never said goodbye or anything at all to him. I know I shouldn't be with this current boyfriend, but I feel trapped. We've been together for 4 years now, but he depends so much on me for everything. Anyway, my question is should I attempt to contact this person whom I haven't seen or spoken to in 3 months? Or should I let it be? I still can't stop thinking about him and the ever constant ';what if?'; is haunting me.Need advice concerning a relationship that never happened?
The first thing you should do is if you're not happy with your current boyfriend is make a clean cut,and walk away from that relationship. Then wait a few months I suggest at leats 6,and then contact the other guy,and see where it goes.Need advice concerning a relationship that never happened?
1.Have the guts to leave boyfriend A.first.
2.Then,and only then,contact guy you wish you knew(if he is single.)
3.Don't cheat.Your bf may not need you as much as you think he does.Move on...and let him do the same.
I think you should try to contact him. If he felt the same way about you then, he may be thinking the same things now, and he'll be happy to hear from you. If he didn't feel the same or he's found someone else, then you'll find out for sure and your curiosity will be put to rest.
Either way, though, it sounds like you're unhappy with the man you have. It's probably time to get rid of him, strike out on your own, and find someone you feel is worth your time--whether it be this guy you're thinking about all the time, or someone else. If you're not happy where you are, you're wasting your time, and even though it's hard to leave, it will be what's best for you.
I wish you luck.
The real problem you have is that you are in a relationship that you don't want to be in. If you are not happy in the current relationship, you should not let it drag on because you feel bad for your boyfriend. Thats not going to do either of you any good. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, where I dated a girl all through college and after college as well. Five years total. It lasted about a year longer than it should have because I didn't have the balls to break her heart. It was not easy, but I couldn't let it drag on any more. My heart just wasn't in it any more and it sounds like yours isn't either. Once I did it I realized soon after that it was the right decision.
That being said, once you are out of the relationship, I would attempt to contact that person if I were you. Whats the worst that can happen? I find I regret things much more in my life that I haven't done, as opposed to things I have. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
If you didn;t do anything the whole time you were at college, while u had the chance, boyfriend or no boyfriend.... just leave it be.... and if ya not happy with your boyfriend after 4 years together why are you still with him then?
You have a crush on this older guy, and are looking to use it as an excuse to end your current relationship. How do you know the older guy has the same feelings for you? Maybe you should just be honest with your partner and end the relationship, but don't go looking for love when its not there.
Let the older guy be. Just because you both felt something, doesn't mean acting on it is a good idea. The wishful thinking fantasy scenarios you daydreamed up were probably better than the reality would be. And you've already gone through them all. Now move on.
You must dump the current guy. The only reason you're still obsessing about this impossible never-was who's probably forgotten about you by now is that the guy you're with sucks so much. If you don't break up with him now, you'll end up married to him- wondering why you did such a foolish thing.
Get over your fear of being alone, and just be alone for a while, and sooner or later you will find a completely new guy who's interesting enough you don't need to cry over spilt milk or covet the grass on the other side of the fence.
Its haunting u because u probably r in luv.Something developed that is very rare between u 2 , does he feel the same? U need to find out ,go see him .Tell him how u feel . U never know he might luv u 2!If its not luv then it could b that special something to develope into something unique.oily skin
The first thing you should do is if you're not happy with your current boyfriend is make a clean cut,and walk away from that relationship. Then wait a few months I suggest at leats 6,and then contact the other guy,and see where it goes.Need advice concerning a relationship that never happened?
1.Have the guts to leave boyfriend A.first.
2.Then,and only then,contact guy you wish you knew(if he is single.)
3.Don't cheat.Your bf may not need you as much as you think he does.Move on...and let him do the same.
I think you should try to contact him. If he felt the same way about you then, he may be thinking the same things now, and he'll be happy to hear from you. If he didn't feel the same or he's found someone else, then you'll find out for sure and your curiosity will be put to rest.
Either way, though, it sounds like you're unhappy with the man you have. It's probably time to get rid of him, strike out on your own, and find someone you feel is worth your time--whether it be this guy you're thinking about all the time, or someone else. If you're not happy where you are, you're wasting your time, and even though it's hard to leave, it will be what's best for you.
I wish you luck.
The real problem you have is that you are in a relationship that you don't want to be in. If you are not happy in the current relationship, you should not let it drag on because you feel bad for your boyfriend. Thats not going to do either of you any good. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, where I dated a girl all through college and after college as well. Five years total. It lasted about a year longer than it should have because I didn't have the balls to break her heart. It was not easy, but I couldn't let it drag on any more. My heart just wasn't in it any more and it sounds like yours isn't either. Once I did it I realized soon after that it was the right decision.
That being said, once you are out of the relationship, I would attempt to contact that person if I were you. Whats the worst that can happen? I find I regret things much more in my life that I haven't done, as opposed to things I have. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
If you didn;t do anything the whole time you were at college, while u had the chance, boyfriend or no boyfriend.... just leave it be.... and if ya not happy with your boyfriend after 4 years together why are you still with him then?
You have a crush on this older guy, and are looking to use it as an excuse to end your current relationship. How do you know the older guy has the same feelings for you? Maybe you should just be honest with your partner and end the relationship, but don't go looking for love when its not there.
Let the older guy be. Just because you both felt something, doesn't mean acting on it is a good idea. The wishful thinking fantasy scenarios you daydreamed up were probably better than the reality would be. And you've already gone through them all. Now move on.
You must dump the current guy. The only reason you're still obsessing about this impossible never-was who's probably forgotten about you by now is that the guy you're with sucks so much. If you don't break up with him now, you'll end up married to him- wondering why you did such a foolish thing.
Get over your fear of being alone, and just be alone for a while, and sooner or later you will find a completely new guy who's interesting enough you don't need to cry over spilt milk or covet the grass on the other side of the fence.
Its haunting u because u probably r in luv.Something developed that is very rare between u 2 , does he feel the same? U need to find out ,go see him .Tell him how u feel . U never know he might luv u 2!If its not luv then it could b that special something to develope into something unique.
Long distance relationship, need romance advice?
My girlfriend and I go to two different colleges across California and thereof we only see each other once every few months (or until June).
We are both first years and had been together for almost three years in highschool before we both graduated together. My question is not if I should stay with her, or those complexions, I just need advice on something special to do.
I want to do something like send her letters every week, or something romantic to keep her happy and into our relationship. I am decent at writing poetry, and could certainly get better, but I was just wondering for any other ideas? Things I could send, write, etc to her as a romantic gesture to tell her I love her and care about her?Long distance relationship, need romance advice?
Visit this web site, it had been a great help for me and my fiancee, we are also in a LDR.
We are both first years and had been together for almost three years in highschool before we both graduated together. My question is not if I should stay with her, or those complexions, I just need advice on something special to do.
I want to do something like send her letters every week, or something romantic to keep her happy and into our relationship. I am decent at writing poetry, and could certainly get better, but I was just wondering for any other ideas? Things I could send, write, etc to her as a romantic gesture to tell her I love her and care about her?Long distance relationship, need romance advice?
Visit this web site, it had been a great help for me and my fiancee, we are also in a LDR.
Help friendship relationship problem...need advice?
me and this girl are really close, she is 18 and i am 19. we have been friends for 2 years, we have our usuall fights and stop talking, but then after like 2 or 3 weeks we talk again. we have got really close within the last 2 years, we went vacation together, slept in the same bed (nothing happened), im really good at giving back massages so i massage her, and once she told me to massage her boobs and i did. we talk to each other everyday, we do everything, but the thing is since our last fight, we still act the same way toward each other, but i dont feel we are as close, i always want to hang out with her (cause i like her) and she hangs out with me most of the time, but she rarely asks me to hang out with her, what should i do? do u think its a one side thing, i want to be with her, but she always talks about this guy or that guy, or how she likes him? what do u guys think? can someone analyze this for meHelp friendship relationship problem...need advice?
ask her out and see wat happens if she let u touch her boobs i think she likes u hope this helps
ask her out and see wat happens if she let u touch her boobs i think she likes u hope this helps
Long Distance Relationship Problems! Need Advice!!!!?
So i've been dating this boy..over the internet...for some weeks..
We chat on msn.. but most of the time he's ';Busy';..'Cause when i message him sometimes he doesn't answer me %26amp;%26amp; we barely talk..%26gt;.%26gt; %26amp;%26amp; he says he loves me [[Yesterday when i asked him if he does]] But he never tells me it..unless if he's horny..
When he's horny he starts telling me that he wants to be with me he wants me to go there to USA where he lives..[['Cause i'm not from USA]] %26amp;%26amp; starts telling me that he loves me..%26amp;%26amp; all those cute things..But i know that he might only be thinking about having sex with me..'Cause he only says those things when we're talking about sex..
%26amp;%26amp; Always that he tells me that he wants to be with me is because he wants to have sex.
But yesterday he told me again that he wishes i could go there %26amp;%26amp; i asked him why would he wish that %26amp;%26amp; he said ';I wanna hold you';...
%26amp;%26amp; Most of the time he's like ';%26amp;%26amp; I better be the first'; like i'm virgin.. :$ %26amp;%26amp; he wants to be the first guy.
%26amp;%26amp; On msn he never message me first.. ..%26gt;.%26gt; I'm always the one who says hi to him first..so if i stay 1 week without messaging him..we'll stay 1 week without talking..'cause i know he won't message me..
But i dunno what to think anymore..Sometimes i think that he loves me..%26amp; sometimes i think that the only reason he wants me is to have sex...%26amp;%26amp; is trying to get me to go there.
So..what do you think about all this..%26amp;%26amp; what do you think i should do?Long Distance Relationship Problems! Need Advice!!!!?
Well, if it's only online you aren't dating. You are just online flirting. Also, you can't LOVE someone you have never met. You don't even know if there is any chemistry between the two of you.
I personally think it's odd to be talking about sex with someone you've never met and have never even kissed. You have no idea who he really is. For all you know, he's married and just getting off on this. Or he's some 50 year old man trying to lure you away - like that 49 year old rapist guy last week in the UK who lured that 15 year old girl to France.Long Distance Relationship Problems! Need Advice!!!!?
I read the whole thing and my honest opinion is that you should stay away from him. If he doesn't start a conversation with you then there's why should you start one with him? As hard as it is to hear, it sounds like he is only talking with you for horny conversations. He doesn't love you. He doesn't even know you. Block him for good.
ok, Long distance relationship only works when two people put the effort....Have you met this guy before?....If you are having problem with him like this and all he wants is sex, and he doesnt message you...I suggest find a boyfriend from where you are from and get rid of him. Honey...You dont need this.
long distance is very tough and is just an obstacle you two have to overcome. best of luck!
long distance is hard, but trust me, if he's the right guy, it will work. i know for experience! But he sounds like a creep. Better off to keep looking! best of luck!
this type of relationships are hard 2 mantain i mean u could b faithful 2 him/her or they could b cheatin and so they not good luck.
amor de lejos es amor de pendejos lol mmmm basically dump him!
He doesn't love you. He doesn't even have a crush on you. He's just going along with things in the hope of getting some easy sex. Forget him.
I met a guy from England on a cruise I took 3 years ago and we ended up having a relationship for a little while. It was hard work but we really did care for each other so we tried our best to make it work. However, we were both young (18) and realized we should be doing other things that worrying about our long-distance relationship. But we had actually met and spent 2 weeks together before dating. If you only know this guy from the internet, it's not a real relationship. It can't be real until you meet, which could also be potentially dangerous.
My friend used to like this guy, Nathan and she asked me to add him and talk to him and stuff.. and i did, and we ended up becoming really good friends. He lives pretty far so i've never actually met him, it is constant flirting and trying to make the other one jealous between me and him. And he says all this cute stuff to me, and tells me he wants to marry me and all these silly things, but i think hes just saying this because he knows ill probably never meet him in real life. I personally dont believe in long distance relationships, i mean especially if you havent met the person. I know the Nathan is real, because he went to school with my friend, but how do you know this guy is even who he says he is.. If he only talks to you like that when hes horny he obviously just wants you to talk dirty to him. I think you should end it.. long distance relationships are usually just between people who are afraid to be with the person they love all the time. Maybe you're really just afraid to be with someone near you. Someone who might actually love you back and wont just be saying it because hes horny.
He's just not that into you! REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's immature and just doing the horny guy thing.
Get yourself some real friends -- doesn't need to be a particular boyfriend. You will see that hanging out with friends will fill the emptiness you seem to be feeling.
You seem ';desperate'; begging for attention from this loser.
Every person should have someone who wants them as much as they need to be wanted. If you haven't met that person yet --- don't worry -- You will!
We chat on msn.. but most of the time he's ';Busy';..'Cause when i message him sometimes he doesn't answer me %26amp;%26amp; we barely talk..%26gt;.%26gt; %26amp;%26amp; he says he loves me [[Yesterday when i asked him if he does]] But he never tells me it..unless if he's horny..
When he's horny he starts telling me that he wants to be with me he wants me to go there to USA where he lives..[['Cause i'm not from USA]] %26amp;%26amp; starts telling me that he loves me..%26amp;%26amp; all those cute things..But i know that he might only be thinking about having sex with me..'Cause he only says those things when we're talking about sex..
%26amp;%26amp; Always that he tells me that he wants to be with me is because he wants to have sex.
But yesterday he told me again that he wishes i could go there %26amp;%26amp; i asked him why would he wish that %26amp;%26amp; he said ';I wanna hold you';...
%26amp;%26amp; Most of the time he's like ';%26amp;%26amp; I better be the first'; like i'm virgin.. :$ %26amp;%26amp; he wants to be the first guy.
%26amp;%26amp; On msn he never message me first.. ..%26gt;.%26gt; I'm always the one who says hi to him first..so if i stay 1 week without messaging him..we'll stay 1 week without talking..'cause i know he won't message me..
But i dunno what to think anymore..Sometimes i think that he loves me..%26amp; sometimes i think that the only reason he wants me is to have sex...%26amp;%26amp; is trying to get me to go there.
So..what do you think about all this..%26amp;%26amp; what do you think i should do?Long Distance Relationship Problems! Need Advice!!!!?
Well, if it's only online you aren't dating. You are just online flirting. Also, you can't LOVE someone you have never met. You don't even know if there is any chemistry between the two of you.
I personally think it's odd to be talking about sex with someone you've never met and have never even kissed. You have no idea who he really is. For all you know, he's married and just getting off on this. Or he's some 50 year old man trying to lure you away - like that 49 year old rapist guy last week in the UK who lured that 15 year old girl to France.Long Distance Relationship Problems! Need Advice!!!!?
I read the whole thing and my honest opinion is that you should stay away from him. If he doesn't start a conversation with you then there's why should you start one with him? As hard as it is to hear, it sounds like he is only talking with you for horny conversations. He doesn't love you. He doesn't even know you. Block him for good.
ok, Long distance relationship only works when two people put the effort....Have you met this guy before?....If you are having problem with him like this and all he wants is sex, and he doesnt message you...I suggest find a boyfriend from where you are from and get rid of him. Honey...You dont need this.
long distance is very tough and is just an obstacle you two have to overcome. best of luck!
long distance is hard, but trust me, if he's the right guy, it will work. i know for experience! But he sounds like a creep. Better off to keep looking! best of luck!
this type of relationships are hard 2 mantain i mean u could b faithful 2 him/her or they could b cheatin and so they not good luck.
amor de lejos es amor de pendejos lol mmmm basically dump him!
He doesn't love you. He doesn't even have a crush on you. He's just going along with things in the hope of getting some easy sex. Forget him.
I met a guy from England on a cruise I took 3 years ago and we ended up having a relationship for a little while. It was hard work but we really did care for each other so we tried our best to make it work. However, we were both young (18) and realized we should be doing other things that worrying about our long-distance relationship. But we had actually met and spent 2 weeks together before dating. If you only know this guy from the internet, it's not a real relationship. It can't be real until you meet, which could also be potentially dangerous.
My friend used to like this guy, Nathan and she asked me to add him and talk to him and stuff.. and i did, and we ended up becoming really good friends. He lives pretty far so i've never actually met him, it is constant flirting and trying to make the other one jealous between me and him. And he says all this cute stuff to me, and tells me he wants to marry me and all these silly things, but i think hes just saying this because he knows ill probably never meet him in real life. I personally dont believe in long distance relationships, i mean especially if you havent met the person. I know the Nathan is real, because he went to school with my friend, but how do you know this guy is even who he says he is.. If he only talks to you like that when hes horny he obviously just wants you to talk dirty to him. I think you should end it.. long distance relationships are usually just between people who are afraid to be with the person they love all the time. Maybe you're really just afraid to be with someone near you. Someone who might actually love you back and wont just be saying it because hes horny.
He's just not that into you! REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's immature and just doing the horny guy thing.
Get yourself some real friends -- doesn't need to be a particular boyfriend. You will see that hanging out with friends will fill the emptiness you seem to be feeling.
You seem ';desperate'; begging for attention from this loser.
Every person should have someone who wants them as much as they need to be wanted. If you haven't met that person yet --- don't worry -- You will!
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