I have a big problem with my relationship and need some advice. Preferrably males?

I have a husband I love very much. He means everything to me. Yet every time he gets mad he throws up past transgressions. I do not know how to fix what I have done. Yet I have given him permission to take another women when in fact, I am not trully comfortable with the idea. I want us to be like we were when we first got together. The intense love, desire, and passion. Committed to only each other. Yet I fear if I tell him how I trully feel, he will leave me. How do I repair my relationship?I have a big problem with my relationship and need some advice. Preferrably males?
You sound like what every man wants. He sounds like he does not deserve you. Just tell him how you feel. How could it possibly be worse than what he is doing now.I have a big problem with my relationship and need some advice. Preferrably males?
He was probably hurt very deeply and now has trust issues. If you cheated on him, then you should give him some lead way on this issue. Let him know often that you will be faithful. He probably needs to hear that.
If you don't tell him how you really feel and he finds out (and he will), then he'll leave you for being duplicitous; and in the meantime, you'll be miserable.





Come clean, and take it from there.
You let your husband hook up with someone else? That's unconventional to say the least! You deserve MUCH better than that.
Hello. First of all it sounds as you BOTH of you need some good and godly counseling to address the problems you both are having. You should kindly and lovingly tell him you want to discuss things with him in a NONthreatening tone so as not to have his shield of defense go up and he treat to his internal cave.... or the like. All you can do is tell him that you are truly sorry for what's been done by you in the past and tell him it's time to leave it behind you both. It sounds like someone, dare I honestly suggest some woman in his past (i.e. friend, authority figure, etc.) has done something akin to it to him... and so he's throwing it back at you because of past experiences. As for telling him to take another woman signals there's something you failingly tried to do to help him, but seemingly it backfired on you. You've got to come clean and share your heart and soul as lovingly as you can and commit yourself to being with him. Love him beyond the problem with it's symptoms to becoming a more loving wife. Get godly counseling and work through each of your joint and separate issues, and as far as is possible within your own heart to be committed to him. May God help you, for he can do it. Take care.
I am not male...but I am wondering why he would leave you if you told him you wanted intense love, desire, and passion.





Who doesn't want that!?!





And, maybe you can't fix what you've done... I assume cheating. All you can do is ask for forgiveness. That's it. And, either he forgives you, or he doesn't.....
Im an Female. But you can't make up what you done in the pass. You just don't let him throw what you have done in the past. Let the past stay over the past. Or you throw somethings in his face so he know how it feels.
I assume your ';past transgressions'; and his taking other women are similar. You are not in a very good position because you've already opened the door of opportunity for him to take other women, and that door is not easily closed, especially when he's giving you guilt trips. Intense love, desire and passion are best when trust and respect are in the mix, seems like those are lacking.
You Can't.





Nothing will change until he realises that you made a mistake and (hopefully) not make the same mistake. By giving him permission to ';take another woman'; is just ridiculous! You just said your not comfortable with the idea, how long do you think it will be until you throw that transgression in his face?





Honestly, If you can get him to a counseller, good stuff. If not, leave.


Seriously, it just may come to that.
You just talk to him and just say what you said now. He needs to understand that what you did was only out of pleasure and it meant nothing but that. Why don't you ask him what he wants sexually? Tell him that you don't want to lose him and that you want the passion. Giving him persmission to take another woman is great but it can't be done behind your back. Ask him what he wants
Depends if you were unfaithfull and thats the reason you gave him permission to take another woman then its all ready over. You will never be the same. The trust is gone.
well first help him to understand his anger and help him to find a different out then throwing it in your face as far as letting him take another woman if you are not truly happy with this then talk to him every successful marriage starts with open communication and trust honesty try these things see if they help consider marriage counseling
This is easy to answer but will very difficult to pull off. You love your boyfriend so much that you gave him a blank check. Now that he is spending to much money you want to cut him off. So to solve this problem you will have to sit him down and give him a budget and come to a compromise. Be careful though, because your boyfriends is acting like a child so treat him like one. So you know if I was a parent talking to a child and I cut him off all together than their will be alot of fireworks. So I would budget him slowly and lovingly.
Relationship is like a tug of war, hope you know that game. There are 2 sides holding the rope from either side and starts pulling each other using the rope to pull down the one to the other side. In the way relationship is like a tug of war, rope is the relationship, you are one side and ayou husband is on the other side, when you try to pull him he also pulls you, but whne one tries to loose, the game is over and relationship is down, there should always be a push and pull with-in acceptable limits. To the contrary, if both are strong in pulling each other, the rope gets cut, then the relationship breaks, so take care of that too.





So, on the whole, when he picks up something from the past be patient in what he is trying to say and answer his questions patiently and repair his hurt heart to get out that thought from his mind rather than skipping that subject. Speak out, convey things politely ... show love truly make him understand, males wanted to stronger but they hardly mind about that but still wanted to atleast feel stronger and appreciated... Give it some time, sex is another great tool, but use it at the right time in a passionate way.
First I would have to say if he does go out with another woman than your marriage is in danger. I don't know exactly what is going on in too much detail and I don't know his side of the story. But based on what you have given me I would have to say that it may be him that wants to end the relationship. whether it is your fault or his I do not know based on the information you have given me. Sorry
Sit down, talk to each other and discuss the problems you guys have. Find some common ground. If the problem continues, find some professional help.
Get a divorce
I'm a man who's wife has recently divorced him for a number of reasons that I have come to see as valid. So I think I have some ground to stand on in answering this question.





Your relationship is in really tough shape. It would take a lot to get it back to where you want it to be. Though it's probably not impossible, you would each have to do some big work--probably starting with looking at yourselves and your own issues rather than the relationship. If you want to save your marriage, I suggest you start by doing some work on yourself.





It sounds to me like for you the core issue is that you don't deeply love and value yourself, and you are looking to your husband to help you regain a sense of being deeply valuable. He's not going to be able to do that for you. That's not what relationships and marriages are really for. That's what loving parents are for. I'm guessing that you weren't loved very well as a child. Now that you are an adult, the hard reality is that you are going to have to figure out how to love yourself well. I have learned this through my own hard experience. It CAN be done. You CAN figure out how to really love yourself.





I encourage you to immediately take responsibility for completely loving and valuing yourself, and making all of your decisions and actions come from a place of loving and valuing yourself. If it turns out that your husband and your marriage can change to accomodate this change in how you live, great. If not, you don't need them. But your husband is not going to deeply value you the way you want him to until you deeply value yourself. Chances are he isn't feeling loved or lovable, either, and he is busy hoping someone will do that for him.





You may want to look into the work of Pia Mellody. She has done some excellent thinking and writing about what she calls ';love addiction';. Love addicts chronically look to another person to make themselves feel loved and valued. I consider myself a (recovering) love addict. I have come to understand that my unreasonable demands for love were a big part of what sunk my marriage. The rest was me taking my wife for granted and not loving her well. I've come to figure out that the way out of all this is loving myself.





I hope some of this was helpful. I wish you well with everything.
sounds like it's already broken. find another one. seriously. i did