In an emotionally abusive relationship... need some advice?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years. He can be a real jerk at times, but he is NEVER physical, and I am not afraid whatsoever of him ever becoming physical. It is just the things he says. He is 27 and I am 22, so there is an age gap there, and we are both at different stages in life... he handles things different than I would, and I feel sometimes if I don't say it the way he wants me to, or do it the way he wants me to, I am in for all these nasty things he says. He has called me a bit*h, cun*, talked down about my family, called me a fat ***, told me I am ugly and that I will never do better than him... I have never said things like that to him. Sure, I have called him an asshole after he says these things to me, and if he calls me a *****, I call him a ***** and he really hates that! But why can he say it to me and not expect me to get mad like he does? He has pressured me for anal sex and then has gottn mad to the point that I am in tears because I don't want to give it to him. Like it is always my fault. It is not like this constantly though. When he is nice, he can be really nice, and that is what makes me think to myself, ';Why am I wanting to leave him if he is this nice?'; By the way, we moved 2 states away in 2007 for his job, and it seems like with the added stresses of me not being with my family, his actions are just coming more and more to light. He makes me feel like I should no be blaming him, after all he is paying most of the bills... My money goes into his account, not joint... he does not trust me... he thinks I will take his money? I have never done a thing like that to him, or anyone else. There have been times that he loses something, and accuses me of taking it.... and when he finds it he does appologise, but claimes that if he hadn't found it, that would have been bad for me... he leaves the house for hours when things doesn't go his way, or if I defend myself agianst things he says. He drinks every night almost, adn goes to the bars atleast 1 time a week without me to add. And I have been asking to go to the movies for 2 months, and he claims it is too expensvie... When I ask him to give up that 1 day at the bar and spend it with me he goes into this speech of how he pays most of the bills, so I don't have a say really on what we spend money on. You are all probably reading this asking yourself, ';Why are you still there?'; But it is hard when you have been only with 1 person for 5 years... I have built my life around him, and it is a scary thought. I always feel like I am wrong, and I am confused of my own feelings. I have gotten up the courage to leave, and now he has been nice to me for the past week, and it sends my emotions wacky. I just am so confused... I know he will not change, but there is always that little hope in my head that he can, and maybe he will...In an emotionally abusive relationship... need some advice?
Your boyfriend is a controlling abuser and the time to leave is now...before you get pregnant with his baby. Don't wait until he hits you...and yes, his abuse will get worse. Oh, and don't give him any more of your money. Wait until he goes to work and call in sick. Move and take everything with you (see my answer to another of your questions for more detailed list of what to take with you...make sure all form of financial records (work, bank, tax, educational) and identification and pictures are with you).





And please contact the National Domestic Abuse Hotline:


1-800-799-SAFE (7233)


www.ndvh.org





Good luck and please let me know when you are safe!





edit:


This is your question that I originally responded to:


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?鈥?/a>