Destroying Relationship Over TTC - Please Read & Advice??

Hi, I have PCOS, have been trying to concieve for a long time. I have had 2 miscarriages in the past yr. I am on metformin at the moment %26amp; will be starting clomid soon.





But I feel really upset.. All around me, people are getting pregnant %26amp; I keep thinking.. why not me? My best friend and auntie had lovely baby boy's recently and my sister will be having twins soon. My husband is very supportive %26amp; patient. If it hadnt been for him, I don't know wat I wudve done. But yesterday, I felt really down %26amp; told him that If I can't get pregnant by the time I am 30 [I am 27 at the moment] I want a divorce %26amp; want him to get married to sum1 else. I tried to explain that it's cos he deservs more than I can give him. He really wants a child %26amp; cos I luv him so much %26amp; cos I hav the problem.. I feel like I am stopping him from being a dad.





He was very upset with what I sed. He got angry %26amp; sed that he cudnt understand why I was saying this %26amp; that he isnt with me just for a child. He isnt talking to me at the moment.





What can I do? Please advice! I feel like I am destroying my relationship.. How do I make things right? I can't stop crying at the moment. I feel like such a failure!





I have no1 to talk too or share my feelings with. Help?!Destroying Relationship Over TTC - Please Read %26amp; Advice??
I think your first step would be to tell your husband you are really sorry and you didn't mean it and you were just really upset and stressed and talking nonsense.





I know how awful it is. I've just had my second miscarriage since July. ALL my friends are pregnant and all of them are due when I would have been due if I hadn't had the first miscarriage. You just have to dig deep and find some strength. You do have someone to talk to - you have your husband. Lean on him, don't push him away.Destroying Relationship Over TTC - Please Read %26amp; Advice??
Get thee to a counselor -- NOW. You tieing your self worth to producing a baby is just horrible. It's horrible for you and your husbandn and it's not fair to either of you.





I can understand the frustration and I know seeing everyone else with their babies makes it even worse, but you cannot let yourself slip into this downward spiral.
Just sit him down and tell him why u said what u said. Let him give u his perspective.





Obviously he believes in the vows he took (for better or worse). It sounds like he loves you. Seems like a good man to me.





There are always other options if you are not able to conceive.
Your husband is right. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! You are over reacting. While infertility is difficult and stressful, the fact is he NEVER married you for your baby making abilities. Erase that thought from your mind. Stress ALWAYS makes conceiving more difficult. I know this seems unlikely, but has HE been tested? Contrary to popular belief, PCOS is HIGHLY over diagnosed---and men can have all sorts of problems with sperm count and health. Regardless, stop stressing!!








%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;Former 'PCOS' sufferer who found out Hubby was the one with the 'lazy' sperm. We adopted a 10 month old through foster care. The BEST decision of our lives.
Do you remember the part in your wedding vows that says


';For better or for worse?





Obviously you missed that part.


Believe me, I have been through hell and back with my husband. We got knee deep in debt from medical bills and college loans, I had my brother shipped off overseas and didn't know about his whereabouts for 15 months, his family past away in Russia and we were not able to attend the funeral and we aren't pregnant yet, even tho I am 22 and very healthy.





Life will bring you challanges, heart aches, and let downs, but that doesn't mean your husband has to pay. Divorcing your husband because you can't carry a baby makes no sense.





I am really sorry that your going through this, I am adopted because my mother had PCOS. Please don't give up.
oh hunni i can relate 2 u a little.





in 21 and my fiance is 27, he is going 4 tests this month and i need 2 wait for his results untill i can be tested, but i often tell him 2 leave and be with sum1 else if theres a problem with me. and i know i dnt want him 2 go but i wanthim 2 be happy, he tells me its me he loves and me he wants 2 be with.





ur hubby feels the same, he doesnt want 2 be a daddy 2 any1s children, he wants ur babies, he wants u 2 be family and he will always be there for you, i think we boh just need 2 realise our partners mean what they say,





ur not a failure and im sure 1 day ur time will come, theres a baby waiting 4 u hunni, it just needs the right time 2 come.





please dnt be so hard on urself and if u ever need 2 tlk im always on here (when im meant 2 be working lol)





all the best hunni xxxxxxx





and just think, ttc is there 2 test our rships, and when u and ur hubby have that baby u wont even remember all this fuss, even though now it seems as though ull never get there, u will.





every month failed is another month closer 2 ur baby xxxx
Wow!! Sometime I feel the same way but, I won't say it because I love him so much. I wouldn't want him to leave me for a child, but I agree every one deserves a child. And I too don't want my boyfriend to suffer because im incompetent in the reproduction area. I see all the other responses but it REALLY IS HARD, Unless you know, don't speak! I don't talk about it much because it's so upsetting.


Don't throw away a perfect relationship. If he should want to leave for that reason, that's a different story. But don't hurt the situation more.


Good Luck Love
I have PCOS and I totally feel you on this!!! It's hard to go day in and day out knowning we can't give our husbands what they really want.


It's hard not only to want something so bad yourself but to hold another person back from getting what they want too. Thats the heart breaking part. Unless you have PCOS and go though this, you don't know what it feels like.





PCOS isn't over Dx'd! Infact, most women go years without finding out they have it. However, some doctors will assume it's PCOS but it simply can be Insulin Resistance. Which is what I am. I have no cysts or even any sign of anything wrong with my ovaries. Thus to some doctors I don't not have PCOS but to some I Do. This syndrome is so un-reserached by the medical industry. But luckly, more and more advances are being made everyday. It's just a matter of waiting and hoping.





To get peice of mind i always try hard to focus on the good and not the bad. It's hard, don't get me wrong. But maybe God is just spending more time on our little ones! There is always a reason for things.





Prior to my PCOS dx, I was always on the go. Never slowed down or even relaxed. I had many other health problems that I just shoved to the side becuase I had better things to do. Since my Dx, I've learned that maybe God is trying to tell me to SLOW down. It's been a bit of a blessing even though it's still devasting to say the least!





Hang in there! I'm also on Metformin and just did my 1st round of Clomid. I'm hoping we both get our BFP soon!





I'm here to talk if you need. At least i'll understand where you come from being a PCOS cyster!





`hugs`
I am SO sorry! I hope all works out well for you. I can't say that I fully understand, because to my knowledge everything down there is working right and I have no ';problems';, but who knows... I've been trying for 3 months and nothing yet! I do understand how you feel like a failure though, especially with everyone around you getting pregant. I feel the same way! My brother's girlfriend is pregnant, my coworkers (several of them) and many friends have been given the gift of a child and a family and seemingly it was very easy for them, most didn't even have to try! And, here I am trying my hardest and it just doesn't seem to work. I've thought the same things as you before, I don't even have a ';problem'; or a condition. I do think sometimes though that if I can't have children, my husband does deserve better and deserves to have the family he's always wanted. Don't give up yet though! You've still got a while to try... and cutting it off at 30 is a little early, I'd say at least 35. They've made wonderful advances in medicine these days, so surely something will work for you. Keep trying and God will bless you with your special little angel when the time is right. You're not a failure, it's just not your time yet. Keep your head up and hang in there! LOTS of baby dust to you... *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
What you are feeling is so completely normal. It IS hard to see all the people you know getting pregnant and having babies. It will happen for you too, it is just going to take a little longer. Your husband does not want you to feel this way and I think you should tell him that you said those things cause you want to give him children and are so scared that it isn't going to happen. I do not think you want to divorce him and you both can get through this. Lean on each other instead of pushing each other away. All this stress is not good for your fertility either. I know it seems impossible but you have to try to relax and get back to just having sex for the joy and love of it, ya know. Stop trying so hard and it may happen easier. I also know that is harder to do than it is for me to say. Good luck.
omg darling i hope ur o,k??? im always here for u if u feel down n need 2 talk just send me a email! im so with u on this 1, i can understand what ur saying cuz iv said the same 2 my bf cuz i love him so much n he wants a baby so much 2 n i cant give it 2 him! im on clomid 50mg n its working im ovulating but still not preg yet!!!!!!! iv been ttc for nearly 2 years it gets harder as u prob no x plzzzzzzzzz hang in there ur not on ur own with how ur feeling xx keep in touch xx best of luck n lots of baby dust 2 u xx