Is it appropriate to ask your ex-girlfriend for advice on your new relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 1/2 years. Whenever he and I have problems, he asks his ex (who he dated for 6 years) for advice. I don't want his ex involved in my private life, and it makes me feel betrayed that my boyfriend would share our personal information, but he says she is the only girl friend he has. Would you be upset if your boyfriend did this?Is it appropriate to ask your ex-girlfriend for advice on your new relationship?
This is completely inappropriate; if he truly loves you, he will give her up--once and for all.Is it appropriate to ask your ex-girlfriend for advice on your new relationship?
No it's not right for him to be going to her for advice, and I think this is a question you can answer yourself. There is a reason why this girl is his ex to begin with. When you are in a relationship with someone and problems arise, it's always best to discuss them with your partner, not an outside source. (Especially the ex girlfriend)





I would suggest trying to talk to him and if this doesn't resolve the situation, you have to do what's best for you. Only you can decide what it is you need to do about it.
Depends on what it is that makes your relationship with ex acrimonious. Generally, I would take it as a compliment that BF thinks enough of you to get some advice on the female perspective ... IF that's in fact what he's doing there. It's worth a worry or two, I suppose, but you can't be his jailer. And, of course, you can test his veracity by giving him a taste of own poison. There must be someone from your past whose views on the matter you might like to air.





Quite often, superior human beings find it in their hearts to remain friends, sometimes even close friends, post-relationship. Alas, I'm not one of them but married someone who is. Personally, I prefer the enduringly bitter ending. Keeps things clearer, I feel.
It's fine to have friends of the opposite sex, and it's fine to have intimate conversations with your friends.


However, the situation you describe would be beyond the pale for me. It's one thing if you're both in your 40s and this is someone he dated for a few months in his early 20s, who has in recent years become a good friend....but I don't think this describes you guys. I would feel very uncomfortable with what he's doing if I were in your shoes - and it would be a dealbreaker for me.





If you guys are having problems, try counseling. It can be a great way to relieve the tension and learn how to communicate. He needs to understand why you feel betrayed.
No one can decide for you if some activity is appropriate or not. You have answered your own question. If it makes you uncomfortable it is not appropriate. A decision must be made. Either he decides to break contact with her completely or you decide to either accept their relationship or to end yours.





I know it sounds harsh but struggling with what to do and suffering all of the drama does nothing good for anyone concerned unless they are narcissistic.
Anyone would be upset. and people that say they only talk to their ex's are liars and sometimes have good intentions, but something always happens. old feelings do resurface. I would tell your boyfriend you do not feel comfortable at all with this. And if he keeps doing it tell him that it has to stop or else you are leaving him b/c he obviously cares more about his relationship with her than with you if he continues to talk to her knowing it upsets you.
This would definitely bother me. Have you told him it makes you feel betrayed? I don't even think he should continue being friends with her at all. He definitely shouldn't be sharing aspects of your relationship with her. You should put your foot down on this. If he wants female friends, he should make friends with people he hasn't shared his most intimate moments with, including sex (I'm assuming), for 6 years.
YES, I be upset!





sounds like he might still have emotional connection with the ex. Tell him that you feel hurt that he ';runs'; to the ex to get emotional support. The ';ex'; should respect your relationship and should not encourage this situation......





I would boot him to the curb if he doesn't value your feelings! What if you did the same thing to him, how will he feel? There are too many double standards around here now a days!
Anyone would be upset. Your boyfriend needs to quickly establish some appropriate boundaries with the ex girlfriend. You need to insist that he reduce his contact with her and that he never discuss you and your relationship with the ex. It's inappropriate.
Thats way out of line. Cant he ask you for advice on how to fix the issue.
i would be very upset if my boyfriend did this. but, unfortuently, one of my exes from back home ALWAYS texts me or emails me if him and his current girl are having issues. i always give him the best advice i have.


hes told me before though, that if i ever wanted him back, he would take me without a thought of her. and theyve been together for a year and a half. to me, if hes asking her advice, it makes it seem like he wants her back. but thats just me.








so now that youve written tha tyou hate her, i def. think you should tell him to cut this out. i would not be happy and the relationship would probably not progress much more. this seems like a trust thing, and hes not doing what you asked of him, if hes still asking her advice. to me, if i ask you to not hang out with an ex, i dont want you speaking to her either. not even about me