Please read! i need advice about an old relationship! please?

i dated *john* for 3.5 years. he was my first love and it was incredibly hard when it ended. the only reason it ended was because he moved to work at a job that paid really well and neither of us could handle a long distance relationship and we both thought we could pick things up where they left off when he returned home. well while i was single i got set up with another guy and ended up dating him for some idiotic reason i cant figure out. that relationship ended and i began dating my current fiance. my problem is i am supposed to get married in 28 days and all i can think about is *john*. im still madly in love with him and he is the only person that has made me truly happy....the only problem is he had court 3 days after i am supposed to get married for a pretty serious matter and could be sent away for quite some time. theres no guarentee that he will get sent away but it is a good possibility. i just dont know what i am supposed to do. if i leave my fiance for *john* i wont have a place to live or a vehicle( my tranny is out on my car, ive been driving my fiances truck) and *john* might get sent away. if you were in my position what would you do? im really upset about all of this and would really appriciate some input. thank you Please read! i need advice about an old relationship! please?
John IS where your heart is but those material things your fiance is providing you at this time are the things you need to live. I say.... keep your security blanket the way it is. If John chances of going to jail are as great as you say they are then surely he won't be in any position to provide you with the things your fiance is giving you. But never forget John because that's where your true feelings and happiness is. Do what you have to do to live but always follow your heart because the heart never lie!! Please read! i need advice about an old relationship! please?
I would go for love. If you end up marrying this guy you will only regret it later.
why do you have to get married in 28 days
John will always be special to you because he was your first love. The relationship ended prematurely, so psychologically, you will always remember him fondly. (As humans, our minds pull the same trick when someone passes away at an early age. We're left ';hanging out on a limb'; and wondering ';What if...?';)





Now consider the fact that you were so ';in love'; with John, yet you dated other guys--even agreed to marry one--while you still (presumably) loved John. (Where were these strong feelings for him then?) You need to honestly examine the reason why you did that. What were the motivating factors? Loneliness? Acceptance? Sex?





When you're truly in love with a particular person, you don't go looking for love with someone else, and you certainly don't make big plans for your future with Mr. Second Best.





Never mind the fact that John chose his career over you in the first place. If you two were so tight, he wouldn't have agreed to leave you behind or he would have returned to you when he noticed that your relationship was suffering. To me, it sounds like you want the fantasy and to a female about to walk down the aisle, too much of that can be disappointing and detrimental to your future.





John could be going to jail. Nice. And you're only thinking of hanging on to your fiance for security? No offense, but you REALLY should not be getting married at this time. It would be extremely unfair to your current fiance, and it's a sure bet that you're going to end up unhappy in a few years. It sounds like you're already second-guessing and panicking. That's not what a bride needs to be feeling prior to her wedding day.





Do yourself a favor and call off the wedding. Take some time to yourself. Learn to take care of yourself first, and bring a more confident, independent, emotionally well-balanced person into your future relationships. This will save you boatloads of emotional baggage.