Difficult Relationship Situation... need advice?

So before my girlfriend and I were ';officially'; together (but we were really serious and very close) she slept with her ex-boyfriend. She begged me to take her back and after days of her sobbing hysterically I told her maybe. We ended up getting together about a month later and have been dating for 10 months now. She's made a lot of progress regarding her ex, but refuses to completely cut off communication with him and has openly expressed that she still loves him, just different than she loves me. They talk maybe every three weeks.





Aside from this, our relationship is great. She makes me very happy. The problem is that I don't trust her after what she did. She promises she'd never do it again, but says I either need to accept her for who she is or leave her. I broke up with her two months into it because I decided I was still too angry and untrusting, but then she got me to take her back by promising she was over him. Turns out she wasn't really over him, she was just so sad about me that at the time she felt like she was.





So here I am, still mad that she slept with him and still not trusting. I stay awake at night, furious with myself that I was dumb enough to take her back and furious that she a) slept with him and b) still has feelings for him. In fact, I'm up right now because it keeps me from sleeping at night.





So.. any advice as to what I should do? I'm not really looking for ';just break up with her'; because I tried that and it made me miserable since she completely blamed me for ever taking her back and made me feel like complete s**t, though if its really the only option I suppose I could try again. I'm really looking to see how you forgive somebody for something like this, and how you forgive yourself for making a decision you regret. Because ultimately I feel she wasn't punished enough for what she did and I wish I could go back. ThanksDifficult Relationship Situation... need advice?
First of all, your feelings come before his! They need to. In her head she may justify keeping him around because she ';doesn't want to hurt him'; even though subconsciously its for another reason. Your feelings are less important than the sacrifice she refuses to make because she's keeping him the picture. Its not about you being controlling its about her not making up her d*** mind. Why hasn't she? Because she's not over him. She'll do the same to you if you broke up with her you let her. She sounds like a codependent girl who doesn't like being alone and keeps her ex around for comfort in an unstable relationship, like he's her plan b. Its extra male attention that fulfills a void. She's a wound that can't heal because the scab keeps getting ripped off. Don't be so harsh on yourself, betrayal isn't something that is meant to be shaken off lightly. At the same time, wanting her to suffer isn't something a man who is in love would wish upon his girl and that may be the issue...you may have never gotten a chance to fall in love with her because she has never been all yours. She's been partially yours and his and that's her decision. She can't get over what has never left! Don't feel stupid about anything. Everything happens for a reason even if its just to gain a miniature amount of knowledge. You know how she is and how she will be, you will not be able to change that. You're a man that knows what he wants, take charge of your life and stop waiting for this girl to become a woman.Difficult Relationship Situation... need advice?
Any one can have a single soul mate...So if she considers you as the special one in her life, why is she still considering her ex..I dont think her love is true...Ask her seriously, if she loves you or the other person? and maintain your relationship only if she says she loves you alone...
The best relationship is when two of you can discuss everything openly.
I guess I do not understand why she cannot remain friends with her ex. It is not like she is still dating him. She is just talking to him on the phone.
look for someone better ): or talk to her ex and tell him and back the hell off.
I think that the problem is that she cant le go of him and if she never does it will only end up hurting you more and more into your relationship.





I was in your girlfriend position a few years ago and it was because honestly.... I could not let go of my ex boyfriend and didnt want to be alone. Instead of just being alone i had another boyfriend and subconsciously used him to make me feel better about not being able to have you ex. She may love you very much too mate but she cant let go of him and obviously thinks about him lots if she cant stop missing him. If she is still seeing and talking to him she wont and cant let go...





You could always try going to speak to a councellor together to mediate an agreement and so u can both truly open up and express ur true feelings with the protection that the concellor there will calm things down before it gets out of hand.





I hope things work out mate :)
you need to let her go and let her know that you forgive her for brigging baggage and drama into ur life..if u dnt have trust u have no good relationship. the girl is clearly still dating both of you he knows it and ur the one being lied to i know alot of my female friends done it...not me tho. but there are so many pretty girls out there go on dates and live ur life till that special one comes and u will kno it bcuz u wont feel angry and sad with her
Your in a situation that i wish i will never be in. As i would be handling it exactly the same way you are.





I would break up, and stay broke up. Because the trust issue will never go away, she broke your heart once, and you obviously loved her alot or you wouldn't be this broken up about it. What if she cheats on you again? will you get angrier? depressed? and if she still feels something for this guy, then there is always the chance she'll cheat again.





There is no point in fouling yourself, once a cheater, always a cheater.
Before I got together with my ex his ex g/f cheated on him with someone. It made it sooo sooo sooo much harder for me, because every week he would accuse me of cheating. Or I get blamed for something SHE did.


Bottom line: Don't let this one make it harder on someone who actually geinuely cares and loves you
Your best advice is that you need to let her go being alone is better than having this bad feeling in your heart and stomach that she is a cheater.


She has given you evidnece of being a cheating and told you she still loves her ex that is a clear meaning that it can happen again. Don't listen to her guilt trips of putting you in the worng. She is the one who broke your trust.


The first couple of weeks is the worst because she is going to blow up your phone and confront you, but you need to trust someone and know they love you and not there ex. Be free from the stress and go have fun with your friends there are plenty of girl who would never cheat on you and treat you better than she ever could.


Lifes about choices if you choose to stay with her its your fault if she cheats again because you stayed.


If you leave you have the chance to change into a better person and she'll learn not to cheat.
Why are you with the ****? She is using you for her needs while going off to her ex lover boy. You can break up with her if you do it and stick to it. No phone calls, no emails, no contact. If you see her, you walk in the other direction. Change your number, everything.





By the way, a real and good girlfriend wouldn't be a cheating whore or talk to their ex.
Hmm.


Well i guess you could talk to her about how you feel.


And if it really does get to you maybe ask a female relative not


adult maybe someone whos been like this already.


But if it really gets to you i just wish and hope that she will proove to you about it


good luck


Lidz
tell her that she has to choose 1. either it's you either it's him - but be ready she might take him. so if she decides to choose him just throw her out of your life and let her be with that guy as I think if you wont then this will go on for ever and at some point she will sleep with him again.


and you will have something to say back to her if she asks you to be together again (like you choose him over me so leave me be and go get that guy).


just my opinion on this situation might save you some pain in the future.





have a nice day )
Trust is an integral part of a relationship. If you don't have that you cannot be happy with the person you are with. And if you are not happy, then why stay in the relationship?





You should just let her go. Chances are she has not learned how to deal with her past loves. I think she needs time by herself to sort out feelings and to move on.





You should move on as well. As this relationship is not going anywhere due lack of trust and uncertainty of feelings towards each other.
Hum...


She shouldnt be punished,that'll get you no where and if you have feelingsz for her and she has feelingsz for you than ya'll should at least try.I see where your coming from with the ex in the way,well i think she will get over him,becus for sum reason it takesz longer for woman to get over there feelingsz for people.If she wantsz to get baq with her ex than she will go...


But like I said try,dont just leave her,people make mistakesz(even HUGE onesz).





Hope I helped


xo


God bless