So this is the situation: He knows I want to get married but if I mention it to him he changes the subject or makes a joke about it. Laughing at me or rolling his eyes. I know he loves me and our relationship is a normal happy one. We do have the occassional fight but that's just about it. He has told my sister that he can't see himself with anybody else. But this is so frustrating to me!! HELP! What should I do? Move on or be patient?
Thanks!I need some mature advice about my relationship!?
Maam, I am 22, married, and my wife just had our first baby about two weeks ago. I respect you for wanting this life. I too have a code of morals like unto yourself. I would suggest; try to talk to him, and if he does what you say he has already done, then try to sober him. I f he really loves you, he will listen to what you have to say. You need to have a conversation of soberness; you need to let your feelings come out in full so that he can see your seriousness. If you truley want it with all your heart, show it to him with tears. Remember, five years is an awful lot to throw away by moving on. Keep trying; be patient.I need some mature advice about my relationship!?
With some people, making a stand and developing serious comittments are a scary thing, or uncomfortable. It could be an internal desire to remain with you versus an external demand to remain with you. If we are wanting to be comitted then it comes from our own interests, where as if we are subjected to having a legal binding of comittment, then it becomes intimidating.
You should try to sit down and ask him why he is concerned about marrige. A good long talk between the both of you will be beneficial. Just remember to not take anything he has to say as means of defensiveness, cause if you do, he is liable to shut down, and not relay they real answer to why he has this unattachment in marriage. Let him do the talking, and it doesnt hurt to interject questions periodically throughout with short questions.
Now I am basing this on the fact that he does have real feelings for you.
Wow! You are patient. I think that he's maybe not the kind who wants to settle down. Also, I think it takes some guys a long, long time to see themselves with a family of their own. He may not be ready for kids just yet. After all, just because you may want kids right now doesn't mean he has to give up his right not to have them. You don't want to be selfish in your relationships, but if he's not ready to get married after 5 years, then you might be waiting for another 5, just hoping every day that maybe this will be the day that he'll be ready. It's a gamble, and it's all up to you.
Follow your heart,if u want to say him good luck and do it,if not you麓ll stay with the wish of tell him.
Honestly, if he isn't ready to walk down the isle, Montell Williams says that he never will. However, I have been with my guy for eleven years and we are just planning the wedding. There is nothing wrong with old fashion morals and values, heaven only knows that is so hard to find in an individual. Take a bow he is the lucky one. If he hasn't whisked you away in the next year perhaps it is time to set him straight. Sounds like any guy would be lucky to wed you and father your child.
Have patience and invite him for a dinner. Sit with him and seriously ask him about the future of your relationship and the plans he has towards that.
His answers to these questions will give you the decider.
tell him your serious. if he makes a joke press on about it. you need to let him know how serious you are about this. ask him about how he feels about it. does he not want to get married?is he not sure? these are things you need to know and dont let him off easy until you get an answer.
If he loves you, like he has said to you sister, he should be man enough not to be scared of marriage. Is there a past you do not know about? His parents or friends that were burned bad in a bad marriage, or something.
Does he really knom how serious you are about this? In sports lingo that he might be familiar with....It is time to step up to the plate.
As Dr. Phil would most likely tell ya.......he's afraid of commitment. Sure you can stick around another say........5 years, be in the same position, letting your life go by. It's not a ';normal'; relationship when he makes fun of the fact that you want to marry him and have a child! That's showing very little respect for your feelings. As tough as it might be, I'd move on. You'll get over the heart ache, but you'll never get over wasting anymore time on this bum!!
if you two are living together, chalk it up on the marriage thing. he feels he doesn't have to. if you two have been together for that long, maybe he is scared. try talking to him, even through the eyeball rolling and tell him how you feel. if he doesn't want to listen then leave. just tell him that you feel that your lives together would mean so much more if you two get married. time is short.
i thikn u should b patient,wait for a bit,if that don work make him understand wat u want and if he wont do that,then its ur choice to stay wit him or not
It sounds like he isn't ready for commitment, but you are. You might get commitment in time or you might not. I suggest you move on and hopefully this will wake him up.
As far as a child goes, I believe in marriage first, also. It's in everyone's best interest, especially the child's. I would prefer to hear the words '; I do'; before I hear ';push';.
Good luck.
you should sit him down and tell him how much u love him and cant live without him. then tell him that it means a lot to u to marry him and start a family with him, then just be patient but when u talk to him be dead serious and tell him its the most important thing in the world to u. i really hope it works!
It's been five years. What is he waiting for. Having sex before marriage is ok but getting pregnant isn't?
Fact is, you can't rush anybody into a marriage. I think he does love you but is just not ready. Maybe he's preparing himself for marriage as we speak, so don't rush him. I'm afraid that if you continue to ask him or mention it, you may pressure him and scare him off! Thats not good. I suggest that you wait and continue in making this relationship get better and stronger and deeper. Its the most sensible move right now.
thing is you maybe ready but seems like he's not?......marriage is a life time commentment......give him space.....spend the holidays w/family allow him to seek what it is he thinks he needs to find
Men, like myself, are afraid of commitment for some reason. Now, there's also the possibillity that he isn't ready for that commitment assuming the aforesaid is true. He's flaunting, and that's kind of a sign that you have to basically wait until he's ready. take personal note of his actions whenever you bring that subject up to him. Body language, ect., will tell you how afraid of it he is.
Just be patient he'll come around.
omg it sounds like he is not ready. if you really do love him you must take TIME to try and understand him. my gf pressures me way to much about marriage and it really pisses me off. the more confused he is the more likely he is to leave you. so just back off and if it was meant to happen it will
Sorry, it's not just a piece of paper. It's an exchange of vows, promises to each other. It's a committment. These mean something.
People who love each other are willing to do this. They make a committment to the other person. People who aren't willing to do this are usually thinking more of themselves, and contemplate a time when they might want out of the relationship without a hassle.
I'm not going to presume I know what's best for you to do. You already know and are seeking reassurance here.
Best of luck and a happy future to you.
Be patient! This guy clearly wants to be with you, he probably just needs more timeand i think you need 2 have a serious talk with him about why he hasnt been wanting to talk about this with you.
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