I NEED ADVICE ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND OF 3+YEARS!!!! SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE!!!!?

Ok, so this may take a while...





Let me start off by saying that I absolutely love my girlfriend.


She is an amazing, amazing partner...





We have been together since freshman year in high school. i was 14 and she was 16. Our ages are now 18 and 20. In the beginning we would go to each others houses and keep everything on the low because i was scared of my parents finding out. i hadn't came out yet. that lasted a month and soon after my parents found out i was taken out of school. I was only 15 then. and i stayed at home for 2 months before the school started asking questions. i didnt get to see her for 2 months! and when i did go back to school in February. i still hadnt came out to my friends or anyone at school. it took alot of convincing myself and alot of strength in me to come out. but i did it eventually. partially because my girlfriend said she couldnt bear it anylonger. and i feared i would lose her. she had already came out. since the begining of our relationship we have always been really romantic and very much in love. always acting like newlyweds or something. lol


well when that school year was over. i agreed to switch schools in order to stay in school. because at 16 my parents could legally take me out. so i went to a different school and our relationship became strained. we ended up breaking up for 4 months. there was alot i was hiding from her. a rape and a miscarriage. and she thought i was just falling out of love. i was very extremely depressed. i didnt ever mention any of it to her until later on. she broke up with me without knowing my situation. and she didnt kno anything about my situation because i could never see her or talk to her. everything was in notes that were passed in between friends we knew.


we started 'dating' again but with those same conditions. no communication personally. just notes and emails and 'she said this and that'


in the end of that school year i moved to Texas and left her a message on a friends phone that we were thru and i was goint to Texas to start a new life. i just couldnt handle not being able to BE with the one i loved. it was killing me. i had to get myself out of my depression.


i went to live with family members. (oh by tha way i lived in Florida b4)


she eventually called me a few weeks later and after a very emotional phone call we were back together. I love this girl to death. she is the only person i can say i have truly loved and still do.


we had a long distance relationship for about 8 months. in the first week (we both got a cell phone specifically to call each other) we had talked more than in the past 2 years!!!!





In april of 08 i moved back to Florida with her. we moved into our first apartments together. i was 17 she was 19.


we struggled like crazy in the first 7 months.


with losing jobs and illegal evictions to living with friends to living in a small trailer with no electricity for about 2 months. only cold water.


and yet we did all that for the sake of our love.


were good now.


both have steady jobs.


and a stable home.


but the problem isnt that anymore.


its us...


we always thought that we would fight like crazy cuz im telling you we would fight like animals over the stupidest things. and we thought it was bcuz we were under alot of stress. always struggling. but now...


we fight even worse!


to the point where it gets physical.


and im here asking myself...


is this the right thing to do??


should i stay?


i mean, our love is enourmous.


i would give my life for her.


and i kno she would too.


we love each other so so much


no doubt


hands down


but we dont seem to function as a couple...


we disagree over alot of crazy things


and keep in mind were both females....


were both very agressive and we will hold a fight to the end to prove our point. even if its something to microscopic... in the end it doesnt matter. we do alot of damage to each other and its killing us both


those romantic days we use to have everyday now its like once a week. we spend the rest of the time fighting...


so im to the point where i cant do this anymore...


i want this to work out but i cant deal with all the drama we have...


all our issues...





i need some advice.


i need an opinion from someone who can tell me how things seem from thier point of view....


idk


im desperate for some kind of advice...





this is my last step b4 we end up seeing a counseler.....


babysteps ppl...





please help me....I NEED ADVICE ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND OF 3+YEARS!!!! SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE!!!!?
You have gone through so much together and so you should make one last attempt to save this relationship that doesn't see to be working. Pick a time when things seem to be quiet and calm and sit your girlfriend down for some open and honest discussions. Tell her that you feel you are losing everything that you first though was so great about her and ask her if she seriously wants the relationship to work. Assuming she does insist that you review and monitor the relationship on a regular basis and the importance of this is to concentrate the mind. Set aside a time in the week when you can both air your worries, concerns, pleasures in an honest way without retribution. It could be stuff like, she leaves the top off the toothpaste, to serious stuff like she no longer loves you. Whatever it is, make it known that you can both be honest about it and can both strive to improve it. Make lists write, a timetable, vow to change whatever it takes to turn your lives around and find some happiness. Once you get into the habit of having frank and honest discussions things can improve or become clear that it really is the end of the line.I NEED ADVICE ON MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY GIRLFRIEND OF 3+YEARS!!!! SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY PLEASE!!!!?
stop hitting each other. i can tell your definetly in love but... you haveto make this decisions on you own kiddo
OMG I DIDNT EVEN READ THAT WAY TO LONG. but some advise would be..........SHORTEN YOUR ANNSWER
tell her how you feel. tell her how you miss those days.. TALK 2 HER.


just explain everything you told us about u thinking it was the stress and now that you're not you're upset..


explain you love her with all of ur heart but you are really upset.





good luck hun..








and sorry to hear about your hard times.. and situations.





ur parents sound like real d**ks. please excuse my language.
It sounds like you have a very intense relationship. Honestly I would try the couples therapy and try to work things out. Maybe you both need help with communicating.





Hope things work out for you both.
You are both so young. You are struggling to make ends meet, and money problems is the number one relationship killer.


You two need to work out a budget and stick to it. You need to say ';I love you'; to each other every day.


Do not go to bed angry - resolve all issues before falling asleep so you can wake the next day refreshed.


Try being more patient with each other, understand the other ones point of view.


Speak less, and listen more.