I need advice about my relationship!!?

so im in a relationship for about 9 months now, my boyfriend is away at college in NC and we have been very off and on with our relationship, and right now its not going so well, and there is a good chance this might be the end. i find that one of my biggest problems in all my relationships is im very codependent on my partner. i rely alot on them (and not materialistic things, more like nurture and someone to talk to) i feel like alot of time i take him back because im unbalanced without him, and very unsteady with decisions, and it all comes from depending too much on him or any guy in my life to be there when i need him. please if anyone has been through this or just has a good idea of what to do please tell me something, a good book to get or website to look at. i need to learn how to rely more on myself and be more independent then rely on my guy to always be there for me....i mean hey!...what if he dies?! then ill really be **** out of luck, ya know? i think for me its all about learning to face all problems on my own and learn to love myself. even if your having the same problem as me, let me know, so i know there areat leastt others out there like me. thanks =)I need advice about my relationship!!?
Hey sweetheart, I used to be the same, it's tough when you feel like you find your identity in a guy, because then when he's not there to nurture ';your identity'; you don't know what to do with yourself.


I would really recommend 10 Stupid Things Women Do To Mess Up Their Lives by Dr. Laura Schlessinger.


She is an amazing person, and gives really good advice.


You already know that you need to learn to love yourself, and be confident in yourself, and find out who you are on your own, so you don't need others to tell you that. You're a smart cookie!I need advice about my relationship!!?
just dump him already since its going to happen soon anyway.


and trust me, you WILL find your way without him.
Break-up that dude is LAME
I've been in the same type of situation time and time again...I am always taking my X boyfriends back because i'm lonely and just need to feel...a part of something. I am currently trying to break the cycle, and you're right, a lot of it has to do with loving yourself. You have to realize that you're better than this, and there is a better person for you out there. Or maybe you're better off single. This may not sound like the best solution, but this is how I am handling this. I keep my boyfriend or X boyfriend around, but I take a more hands off approach to the relationship. I allow him to call me, him to text me, him to come see me, etc. This way, you still can get all of the benefits of a relationship, but you are also becoming more independent. Try it, and see if it works
Well sorry to say, the books or advice that you are hoping to find that YOU want to 'support' YOU has not been around yet unless you count the bible. But this is not religious talk. Girl you need to boot the non-essential guys out of your life. Easy said than done! I understand, I'm just like you, but a found a MAN who loves me dearly and not all the time i'm clingy and we got married.


Listen there is a MAN out there for you, still you need a sense of self reliance which I think more often you have to depend on YOURSELF. When it strikes you to call a guy for support or advice, go for a walk or ask yourself.what is it I would do if it wasn't me?


Try being by yourself and think about what it is your strong suit and work on it from there.


All the best.

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