Heartbroken! Advice please! Adult relationship problems....need advice please!?

My boyfriend who I thought loved me and told me as much, just informed me that he can't love me yet because he loves someone else, his soon-to-be ex wife. Now I have asked him on numerous occasions if he wanted to work it out with her and told me no. I also told him to feel free to see someone else if he's interested in anyone. Again, he told me no. Now I know this is coming off as me being insecure, but really I'm not, I guess I wanted to believe loved me since he told me he does. The reason I asked him those questions is because he seems to have lost interest in me and is going through the motions. He claims he doesn't want to be with her, but he cannot turn off his feelings for her, which I totally understand, as I am going through a divorce now too. The difference between him and I is that I haven't been in love with my ex for at least a year and only stayed for my child's sake, which is wrong since I was being abused in every form of abuse there is. He pursued me and IHeartbroken! Advice please! Adult relationship problems....need advice please!?
well, the guy sounds like a mess. you've got the choice of trying to nurture him or not. It could be very worthwhile or it could be a waste of a number of years, and there's no way to tell now how it will end up. You're gonna have to go with your instincts good luck and I'll keep my fingers crossedHeartbroken! Advice please! Adult relationship problems....need advice please!?
Your situation is not uncommon dear woman. I also am going through something similar to your own situation. My common-law wife also has similar experiences to yours.





All you can do is decide to either wait for him or move on.





If you wait for him, you may have to wait a long time and hope he remains by your side.





If you cannot wait for him, you may always have lingering painful doubts about what might have been possible....





If it's the doubt and uncertainty that plagues you, again you are not alone.





The only answer I can truly and honestly say is try to follow the love that is in your heart, listen to what it instructs you to do and say. Don't listen to anyone or anything else because they aren't in your shoes.





I truly wish you good luck and hope you and he can be truly happy together. I know what spousal abuse feels like (I was the abused one).
Well, all I can say for now is to give him space to get over his situation before you get back with him. He's dealing with a lot right now and so are you. Surely, you don't want to be dealing with the baggage from his previous situation. If I were you I would wait this out. You can still communicate with him as a friend, but as for a close, lovey, dovey relationship I would say wait for a bit till the heavy tide passes.
my advice is too embrace the single life.by your long post,you definitely made your point,methodically,if you will.its almost like you cant stand anyone not understanding you.I'm the same way.i,also,am separated.a mans bond with his ex is always going to be strong,especially,if they were soul mates.soul mates do tend to become ex's because they too,like most of us, didn't really know what the whole marriage thing really was about. you need healing from your past. so does he.do it separately.don't try and fix him.